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Sami Bedell-Mulhern 0:00
Hey there, and welcome to another episode of bonus episode of digital marketing therapy. Today I am featuring a friend of mines podcast snack leadership. It's all about her podcast is all about how to be thoughtful leaders How To Be Awesome leaders how to support your teams, your businesses, in ways that I so aligned with. And I know that you will, too, when you give this episode alyssum I first met Ali cavaletti when I was living in Bend, Oregon, and we just connected on so many different levels. I've had the opportunity to work with her. She's fantastic. And so I knew I wanted to feature one of her podcast episodes as a bonus episode here on digital marketing therapy. So today she's going to be sharing some things around time management, and not time management, like I talk about a lot on this podcast, but more about how do we respect ourselves, our time, listen to ourselves, what we need professionally and personally, and how can we kind of bring that all into a mix to be thoughtful leaders, and to just take care of ourselves. So I think you'll really enjoy this episode. It's not too long, it's perfect. But without further ado, here is Ali Kimball, Edie and snack leadership.

Ali Cammelletti 1:18
Hi, I am Ali cavaletti. And you are listening to snack leadership. I will be talking about everything leadership broken down into bite sized pieces, you'll hear what different leadership skills look like in organizations, and how they can rise teams up or take them down. I help leaders build resilience and improve performance by bringing awareness to opportunity behaviors in my business. spark your mindset. I provide leadership and sales coaching, as well as team building and guest speaking my hope is for you to feel inspiration, and to create a spark in your mindset. Hi, everyone, today we are talking about time management. Time management is the ability to use one's time effectively or productively, especially at work. So you had the pleasure of hearing Vaughn give you great insight on time management with his experience. And I have another recording about time management that was recorded back in May of 2021. Where if you're like I really need some helpful tips, though, listen to it. But today, I'm going to shift things a little bit. We're going to talk about my journey with time management this year. And as you would have heard in the May 2021. Recording I talked about like time management is my thing. I love it. I feel like I'm good at it. And it's something that I enjoy, like sitting down and blocking out my calendar. Kind of fun for me, makes me feel like I have a sense of control. Like I know what's happening. It's awesome. Well, I'm going to share with you today, what happened this summer, when time management went a little differently for me. As I had blocked everything out, I knew going into the summer, this was going to be different for me. My daughter, for the first time was doing 5050 with my ex husband. And what that looked like is she was with him one week. And with me another week. Big picture, what it looks like is we had two weeks each month of the summer to do something fun and be together. So my plan at the start was to actually not work every other week. In it kind of worked. And I had a backup plan. Like just in case, I had somebody that I could reach out to as a resource so that I could do coachings. But then as we got into it and I made plans for us to be different places and whether it be camping or take trips didn't really allow for a lot of extra time. And I thought I had it all down, right. Literally every other week we were either camping or taking a trip or doing something special. We're basically four out of the seven days, it felt manageable until I got to the first part of August. And then I was exhausted. I was starting to get exhausted in July. But I started really getting tired. And what I ended up doing is I ended up having to cancel one of the trips that I was really looking forward to so much good friends, they had moved and I really wanted to spend time with them. But I also knew I was no way I was going to be my best self. I was exhausted. And as we back up, I had been coming off of a trip that I had done with my daughter down to Yosemite, where literally, we drove nine hours, one way, but two days, which one of them was in Yosemite. And if you've ever been to Yosemite, you're just doing all the stuff, you're trying to get it all done in one day, that's all you have. And so you're moving like, fast, we had one relaxing day where we hung out next to the pool, and just spent time with the family. And then drove back nine hours. And then I went straight into work, followed by then, having my mother come and we went camping. Then I went straight into a retreat, ah, in there in the middle, was a three day Music Festival. So you can just imagine two weeks of this. And then I went into a four days of the best soul like filling, heart touching, retreat that I had scheduled for myself, time for me to really look deeply into who I am today, where I've come from, and where I want to go in the future. And that is what set me into this place of, Wow, I'm exhausted. All right, Ali, you've been doing all this stuff. breed a music concert. Amazing. Again, that fills my heart with live music, of course. But also, that's a lot, a lot of out in the heat and live music, and then camping, and then going into this retreat I did. And what I left the retreat with was a mantra of unconditional love. So I was given the opportunity to live, what I was putting out there as something that I wanted, and was going to be my focus. And that was counseling. So I still have that pleaser in me. And it was really hard for me to do. And it took me a couple days. But then afterwards, I was like, yes, it allowed me to just have good one on one, just being time with my daughter. And since the week was pretty much blocked out except for the Friday, I consciously did not plan anything. I did not focus on planning anything. And so we had gone to a live concert with my daughter the night prior. And she was exhausted the next day, we were supposed to be driving and leaving and driving about 10 hours. And what ended up happening is she woke up feeling sick. I was like, oh, so we both needed this time. And she shifted pretty quickly after waking up being sick. But it was the focus of not filling my calendar. And that is really hard for me to do. Because I have a lot of things I like to do. I like to hike, I like to camp. I like to go to concerts and go to events. And what I started to do is I didn't put it in the calendar, but I consciously knew we could do something. One thing each day that we would kind of know we were gonna do. And I didn't do that until later in the week. So this was starting out as right as Saturday that we had and she didn't feel that great. And then it wasn't until Thursday, where we went to lunch and music, which is an event that we have in our community in the evening. And then the next day, Friday, we did a night market. But I consciously didn't plan anything. And what that looked for like for us was getting up in the morning. Not having a schedule. I love to lay in bed and wait for her to wake up and then we can have some cuddle time. Or we just hang out and talk about what we're doing for the day and relax. And then a relaxing breakfast. And then we do what we call the scooting jog. She's on her scooter. And I kind of get in a jog a little bit. And it was great. It was so good. There's something about the importance of being bored. And it's hard for me. Like I've had days where she has gone to her father's house and I didn't have anything scheduled, and I want to go schedule something and I have to stop myself. Because I'm like no ally. Boredom is good. Boredom creates creativity. For me, it rejuvenates me. It's essential. And it's one of the things I feel like with kids is days, they are over scheduled as well. And so really focusing on not over scheduling. And so here I am, just coming off of that time, you're going to be hearing this recording in October, which is classic, because come mid September, my business is gangbusters again, for a few months, like I would say, going into December, and then we go into holidays. And why that is, is it's just the cycle of the clients I work with and the business. So what happens in the summer is I get a lot of rescheduling or canceling. Because everybody's so busy, they just can't do it all. And there's something to be said for like, that's okay. I look at that time as gifts of time when my clients have to reschedule or even pause, it's Oh, K to pause.

It's okay to choose yourself. It's okay to have downtime. And we have one more scheduled trip coming up. This next week that we're going to do, it's only a seven hour drive much better than a nine or a 10. And we're gonna go spend some time with family and relax, like there's not a bunch of activities planned, which I'm grateful for. And then we come back. And it's not long, and we're going into school here on the West Coast. Some people at this point have already had their kids start school. But on the West Coast, we start a little bit later. And I have Labor Day weekend open, nothing scheduled. And it's hard right now because I'm wanting to fill it so badly. A part of me is like, just let it be something comes, be open to it. So what happens when we are too busy? When we're too busy, things move super fast, we can get sick. And we can also consciously try to make ourselves too busy. My daughter called me out on this one day, she's like, you know, Mom, you're always just kind of running around and running and doing things. I'm like, I know, there's always a lot to do. There just is I mean owning a house with all the responsibilities as well as owning my own business. And doing my best to make sure she has the best life that I can provide for her. It feels busy. But it's also the importance of that downtime, and just having connection time. And letting both of us be bored. So I encourage you to schedule, or unscheduled and have that open time where there's nothing. There's nothing that is pressing and you have to do. I always say that it should be mandatory. One week out of the year, I go sit on a beach, and I don't do anything. Doesn't always happen. But I strive for that because I know that that's what I need for myself, just for my downtime, and to rejuvenate. Because as I'm thinking about, yeah, it's gonna get busy again, here we are mid August, and I'm feeling relaxed and good. But I know come October, my head's gonna be spinning a little bit because it's going to be busy. But I'm a scheduler, I can schedule it all and figure it all out. The other part is, what happens for me is I want to have all of the experiences in my life. And that's what can get away in the way and part of my overscheduling and like going to places with my daughter and doing things like we are about to go on this trip and see family in its family that has never met my daughter. It's my mom's cousins. And we don't have a lot of family that are still around. And as I was talking with my mom about this trip, like we don't know how long these people are going to be around like this trip is for you. And for us to spend time with them. Because I am not one that says I wish I would have I don't wait and say, Oh, well I'm gonna do all those trips when I retire. Heck, no. I'm doing it now. Because life is short. And that's what also can bring in a bit of my overscheduling because I don't want to have regrets and I want to have experiences as I think we all do. So I'm gonna leave with you this quote by Audrey Lord. I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival. Thank you for tuning in to snack leadership. I hope you felt inspiration, motivation and felt your mindset spark. Snack leadership is recorded and produced by myself. Ali cavaletti and music by Shareen Amenia

Time management looks like a lot of different things. For Ali, it's critical to how she balances her work and family life.  Listen now, and check out the full show notes for this episode.

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Sami Bedell-Mulhern 0:00
It's time for another bonus episode here at Digital Marketing therapy. And this one is brought to you by our sister podcast easy style with Sammy, which is coming back with new episode soon. But this episode features a good friend of mine, Becky launder who I met in the direct sales space. And it's really inspiring because she talks just a lot about how she went from her business, building her business, growing her business to realizing that she wanted to coach and teach people how to do the same thing that she's been doing. So I love it, because it's a great opportunity to kind of think about what are my goals for my business? Where am I headed? What is it that I want to do for myself, my career organization? How am I want to change or pivot or do things a little bit differently, and understanding that we're not stuck in one place all the time. Now? Well, I'd hate to see you leave the nonprofit space. That's not what I'm trying to do here. It's just more of an inspiring story about how we can kind of mold and craft the dream job that we want. We can kind of create it we don't have to be stuck in one kind of flow or process. So I hope that you enjoy this episode of easy style with Sammy with my friend, Becky lander. Let's get into it. Welcome to Easy style with Sammy. I'm your host Sammy del Mulhern. Each episode, I invite a friend, family member or colleague or just someone I've met on this journey called life to come and share their personal style and approach to business, parenting, life and everything in between. You'll hear motivational and inspirational stories that will help you refine and build your own personal style. Remember, style is easy when it comes from within. Hello, hello. Welcome to another episode of easy style with CME. My guest today is the wonderful Becky lander. Becky, thanks for being here.

Becky Launder 1:51
Thanks for inviting me. I'm so excited for this.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 1:54
Yeah. And I'd love to start off by talking about how we kind of know each other. And I love kind of our story because we both met in a like a mastermind business coaching program, which we're both still in and just kind of connected right away. We're both kind of in the same phase of our business. We're both starting memberships, yours is wildly successful, mine no longer exists. But that's a whole nother. But I wasn't in direct sales at the time. And you were starting a direct sales membership. And then I joined direct sales. I was like, well, heck yeah. Now I'm gonna learn all of the things from Becky. So it's such a good reminder, like you never know, the people that enter your life, how they're going to make an impact. You just got to be open and out there.

Becky Launder 2:37
Absolutely. And, and I feel like I learned so much from you. As I was starting that membership, you were facilitating masterminds and challenging me to increase my pricing all the things and then I feel like it's come full circle in some way that like I'm also sharing tips with you on how to grow your business. So it's no fun.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 3:02
It has. Well before we kind of jump into some of the questions what we're gonna talk about today, why don't you introduce yourself and share a little bit about who you are and what you do?

Becky Launder 3:08
Yeah, sure. So I'm Becky lander. I'm the CEO and co founder of modern direct seller, I work with my husband, which I think we're going to talk a little bit about here today. And we're in San Diego, California, we have two kiddos, second and fourth grade, they just keep getting bigger and bigger. On a personal note, I love some iced coffee. I love some office supplies. I'm pretty much obsessed with getting drunk fellas, real results in their business. So that's a little bit of my background.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 3:41
I love that. And I'm very jealous that you're in sunny San Diego because we are in the middle of a cold snap here in Minneapolis and it's cold. And I had to turn my space heater off for this interview. It's it's fine. We'll make it we'll make it. I won't.

Becky Launder 3:54
I won't say the weather report today then.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 3:58
So, um, let's talk about kind of your journey and your business growth. So what got you into direct sales in the first place? totally

Becky Launder 4:07
by accident, right. I feel like my story is very similar to many other direct sellers that are out there that I was working full time and marketing strategy. I was working for an amazing leadership training company. I had little kids at home. And I stumbled upon a product that I thought was pretty awesome. And being a savvy shopper over here, I quickly calculated the math and was like, Oh, I'm going to spend $250 I might as well just buy that starter kit for 75 and have a permanent discount of 25%. Right? So total kidnapper, no intention of building a business but as a achiever and a go getter. I saw all the money on the table right? Like I saw the bonuses I saw all the extra product that I could get and I was kind of like whoa, I mean, we'll just gonna try this like Didn't scoop up some more free stuff because I liked. So that was, that was I totally got sucked in that was pretty much the journey, right? So I started and then before I knew it, I was building a team and earning incentive trips and bonuses. And before long, my income pretty much replaced my corporate income, and then could see it growing exponentially. And I think that's the cool part about direct sales is that, you know, it's not the annual bonus of 4% that you're getting every year, you are seeing how month over month over month, I was seeing all of this big growth. And so at that point, I took a leap of faith and stepped away from my full time job, I actually went part time first, and then completely stepped away from my full time job to build my direct sales business, and build my team and then eventually ended up switching to a new company and rebuilding and having a lot of fun there before where I am now, which is just focused on trading strategy and supporting the industry as a whole.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 6:07
Yeah, and so as you're growing your business in your you know, because I think it mean, like, let's be real, like, I think the phrase is direct sales is simple, but it's not easy, right? The concept of growing a business is simple. But it takes a lot of hard work to kind of do what you did and do it twice. So how like, what was the motivator? Like? Having kind of that control, I can build a business the way that I want? Like, what was kind of the thing that really drove you in that because I think a lot of people are motivated by all the things that you've said, but they're still not as successful as what you were able to accomplish.

Becky Launder 6:42
Yeah, and you know, it's interesting, I feel like I've always had an entrepreneurial spirit, like I've always had a side hustle, I've always had something that I was trying to build on the side. And then you're right, I stepped into drug sales, and especially in the beginning, like I have a decent network. So you know, I'd throw a party and people would come by things. And this is back in the day. So for drugs, I know what it's like now to run an online party back in the day, you literally just copied and pasted and posted images, and then shared a shopping link. And people would buy like it was a brand new concept. And so there was a sense of simplicity there. But I think really back then my why and what motivated me and kind of got me excited, and really on this path was that I wanted more flexibility. I had little kids at home. And as much as I loved my corporate job. And I my boss actually wasn't even local to me, she was on the East Coast, I was on the West Coast, I already was able to work at home a lot. But I still had work to do during regular business hours and things that I needed to accomplish. And I started getting that taste of freedom, I think when I when I went part time and I would spend mornings with my kids at the park or we would go to SeaWorld or we'd go to the zoo or we'd go do things. And I at one point for a tiny little blip had a vision of being a stay at home mom, which let me tell you hard work. All the stay at home moms. I quickly changed my mind and told my husband Oh, just kidding. I don't really want to be home home home full time. Like, I want to have something that I'm building as well. So I just loved that season of life and seeing how I could adapt my schedule, how I could change things in a way that really worked well for our family. And it was a blast. Like it was it was really, really exciting. And everything worked out because I was able to step away from that job and and really build up a big business.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 8:49
Yeah. Okay, so you built this big business? And then now like, what was the motivation or like that, like, what kind of got you going about? Like, maybe I want to coach and teach other people how to do the same thing that I've been able to do? Yeah.

Becky Launder 9:02
Okay, so I love this question, because again, it sort of happened by accident. And let me tell you, I'm actually very intentional about the things that I do in my life. In this instance, I was building a team and as a team leader, anytime anyone asked me a question, basically more than once, I would make a YouTube video or I would write a blog post about it. And honestly, it was for me and to save time for me. I didn't want people asking me the same things over and over again. And we all know that sometimes on the corporate side the training, and the support isn't always there. People go to their upline, they go to their team leader to ask questions. And so I, I started this blog, this little website, and it was really intended to train my team, especially my new team members to set them up for success. So if people ask questions, I could just refer them to a video refer them to a blog post. And before he knew it that little while Phase was being used not just by my team, but it was being used by others within our company, and eventually others outside of our company. So I knew I was onto something. And in my marketing career, I worked for a training company. So training was always kind of in my blood and something I was super passionate about. And honestly, that's what I loved the most in direct sales was leading a team and seeing somebody step into their business and build confidence and be able to do something they never thought they were able to do and find success. That and as a new direct seller, I was going to all the places for all the things I was searching groups, I was, really, I was looking in back offices, I just felt like everything was all over the place. And there was an opportunity to centralize and provide a hub for direct sellers to get the information that they needed when they need it without spending hours going down a rabbit hole searching for that one thing that they're trying to figure out how to do. So that's kind of how modern direct seller got started. And we waited a really long time to monetize. Also, I think that's important to mention, it was all free content. We didn't have the site, and I just would record videos on the weekends. And I put them on the website. And it was super fun and easy, breezy. And then I had a couple of friends that were online business owners that were like, Why aren't you charging money?

I guess maybe I should think about that. So that's kind of where we we actually turned things into a real business.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 11:41
Yeah, well, and we had, so we had ally cavaletti on the podcast, in episode four. And I know you guys don't know each other. But she said something because she's also a coach. And she said something to me, that was brilliant. Because I think even if you're not in direct sales, like everything you're saying, equate to all sorts of industry. But she said something about people going into the coaching business that I had never thought about before, which is, you know, we start our jobs and corporate and whatever it is we grow, we grow, we grow, we get into a leadership position, we grow, we grow. And then there's those of us that go into coaching that are like, Well, I've hit kind of where I think I can hit and not really do any more, but I want to make a bigger impact. And so then we go into coaching and that was kind of your it seems like your projection, my projection was the same way. Like, you know, you go through all working for other people learn all the things you can and then it's like, how can I make a bigger impact? I can do that by Yeah, coaching and supporting people. I think that's a beautiful thing. And I love your take on I want to make the direct sales industry something that people understand is good, healthy, legit, and a great way for people to kind of support their families or support themselves in whatever way that they want to.

Becky Launder 12:56
Absolutely. And I think you know, that was also like the stigma that comes with direct sales or MLM vino and, and I think because I had so much success, and I saw others have so much success. I know like I wholeheartedly believe that there is an incredible opportunity in this industry, for the people that want to be part of it. Yeah. And there's also between me, you and our podcast listeners, bad training out there. There's there's definitely systems and strategies that are spammy and icky and gross. And really don't help the industry out at all. So being on kind of this mission to elevate the industry to do things in an authentic and then a genuine way, but also still see results that I'm just so passionate about. Because I've seen the opportunity. I know what it looks like when it's done right. And people just need the tools to be able to do that and and see that success that they're looking for.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 13:58
Yeah, no, I love that. And I think that's why you attract so many of like, the people that are in your group are like minded and like a good people. Yeah, they're good people. Yeah, really.

Becky Launder 14:11
I say that all the time. I'm like, our community is amazing. I give you a lot of training, but like, we got good people like it's a great community to be a part of, and because you're right, everyone kind of comes at it with the same really genuine perspective. And I think that that that counts for a lot.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 14:26
Yeah. So you start modern, direct seller. At this point. Is your husband still working his job?

Becky Launder 14:34
Yes. So my husband Jeremy, he is an electrical engineer by trade and spent 15 years working for a defense company. And over time, we had many conversations about, you know, working together and what business could look like if we were both in it together or if there's something else for him, I would say to the company that he was with and he kind of went on his own personal develop admit journey and trying to figure out what that looked like. And come 2020, you know, the world's falling apart around us all at home and things were kind of crazy. He found out at that point that the product line that he was working at was going to be moved to a different division. And he had some opportunities to move into a different role or even relocate to a new location, or kind of go a different direction. And so after a lot of what I like to call wine therapy, we had lots of conversations around, you know, okay, like, could can we swing this? Can we work together in the business, still feed our children still be happily married, and, and really build build a business together. And so right when everyone was doing Distance Learning at home, and I'm, I'm saying we had kindergarten, second grade, and the three here, sometimes there was like a first grader in the mix, and a preschooler in the mix. And my brother in law was here a lot of the time, because they were like, our COVID pod. Yeah, the kids are on Zoom calls all the time, Jeremy, left to corporate engineering job made that leap. And so it's hard to believe, but it's been almost three years now. Wow. We we made that, yeah, made that decision. And it's been pretty smooth sailing. So now we work together. And yeah, it's, it's, we're all here together in the house.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 16:32
always impressed with couples that go into business together, because I don't think it's easy. So like, how do you manage that? Like, do you have like, like, I'm in charge of this part of the business, you're in charge of like, how do you kind of separate duties or like, you know, keep, like egos, emotions, all of that in check when it comes to the business?

Becky Launder 16:49
For sure. My a good friend of mine the other day, we were hanging out. And she looked at me and she's like, You must really like your husband, like you. Like like each other. And I was kind of laughing. I'm like, Well, I mean, yeah, like we do. But we also don't fit and work together all day, we sit near each other all day. But we have totally different sides of the business that we work on. And we know for the most part how to stay in our own lane. So I'm more sales, marketing, content creation, front end to the business, you'll see my face on everything. And he's definitely more the backend to the business. So he's doing tech and web development, and legal and finance and operations. And so for us, it works really well, I spend a lot of my time during the day, like they're doing podcasts or training or coaching or in meetings, and he happily puts of air pods in the work that needs to be done to really keep the business going. And then, of course, the tech and the web development piece is kind of his baby. And we've been able to introduce some of those offerings to our students in our programs, which has been really cool. So we definitely, you know, spend a lot of time together. But at the same time, we're not like, in meetings working together on the same things. There's overlap we, we have a Sunday evening meeting that we put together. I mean, it's a meeting, but usually it's like a margarita on a review. Make sure that yeah, making sure that what he's working on, syncs up with what I'm working on, and vice versa. And then we usually have lunch together, and we try to go on a quick walk around our neighborhood together. And then of course, you know, evenings and weekends hanging out like normal couples. But this is definitely creeps his way into our conversations, more often than probably is healthy. But it's always like good stuff. Like, oh, I didn't tell you about this meeting, I had, oh, by the way, I'm working on this and um, you know, so it's, for the most part it, it works really well for us. I don't think it can work for everyone. But for us.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 19:09
I love my husband. But our approach is so crazy different but it seems like you have found like a way to use like his engineer analytical brain to like complement your creative marketing brain so that you can really have a fleshed out healthy business, but then also with the both working in the business can really clearly dictate Okay, well, we're gonna take a vacation this week, and we're gonna set up you don't have to compete with well, what is your job? What are your priorities, like you can really kind of make that life for your family exactly how you want it. Yeah,

Becky Launder 19:39
and it's interesting, too. I mean, I think, you know, he worked 15 years and a job that we've you know, he was there from seven in the morning until five, six o'clock at night, right? So when the kids were really little, I did have a lot more time with the kids and I was more than primary caregiver of the kids and I would pick them up and drop them off and go do things with them during the day. And so when we were able to kind of switch things around where he was working with me in the business, now my calendar is a little bit crazier than. So a lot of times, he's doing more with the kids than I am. I mean, it's pretty even, but you know, your coaches, their softball and baseball team and, and he does afternoon pickup and I do drum up. And so we are really able to kind of sync up our work, but then also family time. And I think it's super cool that the kids get even more time with him than they did when they were littler. And he was going into an office and spending the game for the whole day. That's

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 20:41
beautiful. And I think that ebb and flow I think is great. And I think that's also something that speaks to how we can set up our lives, our businesses, no matter what we do to like, have the lifestyle that we want. So if somebody you know, before we kind of wrap up with the last five questions that I always ask everybody, if somebody's listening to this, they're like, Okay, I'm in this position, I'm in this job, I want to push into something different. But I'm scared. Like, what kind of mindset advice would you give somebody to kind of just take, take a leap of faith in and jump into that dream that they've been thinking about? Yeah, I

Becky Launder 21:16
mean, so I love this question. And I feel like I have such a personal connection with it. Because I really did spend a lot of time building my existing business while I was still working full time. So as much as I want to be like, just jump in. And part of me is like, you know, we really did baby step into it. And that worked well for us. And, you know, I think validating your idea and getting some customers and having some revenue coming in on the side where you can see the potential is really important. And that I mean, just to not sugarcoat it, that's going to be working evenings, that's probably gonna be working weekends, that's probably going to be maybe thinking a little bit more work on your lunch break. All the things? Oh,

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 22:08
I know, the dog decided she wanted to be on the podcast. Love it. Yeah.

Becky Launder 22:13
So I think that that's part of it is knowing that you're gonna have to hustle for a little while, and you're gonna have to really put in the work on the front end to make sure that it works. And it is, in fact, what you think it is that you want. Yeah, no, I think that's important. And then I mean, we did a lot of number crunching too, right? So it was, okay, can I move from a full time role to a part time role, okay, now, when I step away completely, and then, you know, can Jeremy step away from his job completely. And I will say that during each of those transitions, things did feel a little bit tight for a little bit, right until things really got back up and running. And so it wasn't as maybe glamorous as it sounds like we did really baby step into it. But I think that that's important to just take that messy action, and go for it. And, you know, Promise yourself that you're going to put in an extra eight hours on a Saturday, just to see if you can if you can turn something into a full time income, right? And, and it seemed with us like it took, it took a while to get there, right like this, this process is over the last, you know, five years or so, maybe even a little bit longer than that, as we, you know, tested things and tried things and made transitions from one company to the next and rebranded and monetize what we were doing. So definitely go for it. And I would also say think about it as maybe a longer term approach to Yeah.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 23:48
I appreciate you saying that, though. Because I think a lot of times, we hear stories like yours on a podcast like this, and we're like, oh my gosh, like, that's amazing. I'm going to do that. Like, it sounds so simple, because we like we don't always talk about the yucky middle stuff that like you have to sludge through to like, get to where you're going. So I so appreciate you kind of giving that lens to it. And also like remembering that we see people that are so successful that are ahead of us. It's easy to like, say, oh my gosh, they're an overnight success, or they did all this stuff. Like we don't see all of the pre work beforehand. So I think that's great advice, to take those baby steps, but to take steps like that. Don't just sit committed to it.

Becky Launder 24:29
Yeah, I love that. Yeah, and that's all sunshine and rainbows. But as long as you're committed and moving yourself forward every step of the way, like you're gonna get there. It's just a matter of when you personally feel comfortable to take that risk and to let go of maybe some more reliable income that you've had in the past to to really build something bigger, where you can create a bigger impact, which is so exciting.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 24:55
I love that. Okay, well let's wrap up with the last five questions that we all I always ask our guests. So where's your go to place for personal development or learning? Like, where do you like to binge listen or watch things or read, I guess?

Becky Launder 25:10
Good. I love this. Um, I feel like all the places, right? Like, I feel like I subscribe to so many emails and newsletters, you know, all the opt ins suck VPN, but then I do feel like there's, there's a few that I'm like, okay, that's what I need right now I feel like I'm at a point in my business that I don't necessarily need the general training, I need like a deep dive like an example of that was last year, we were really working to move our program evergreen, and rather than just purchasing a program, I invested in some coaching to spend time with hands on my business to really make that happen in a way that would move things forward faster. It would be really personal life to us. Both a Western Amber makios NAFTA. And she's fabulous. So I also go to that group a lot and having kind of a peer group that are also building their business. And I think more often than not personal stuff comes up to in those conversations around. Gosh, like how do you have the mental energy to keep going on days that are hard? And what does this look like for you? And like, what kind of results are you actually getting? So I really appreciate those that are in my inner circle that are kind of more truth tellers. And I know Sammy, you and I have had conversations like that too. Like, how is business for you today? I'm seeing this like let's compare notes here. So that's that's been huge for me. But I'm I like hanging out over an Instagram. I'm a little bit of a lurker and a scroller and like to see what other people are sharing and yeah, I if they all the places, that wasn't a concrete answer, but I think what you're

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 26:50
saying is it's more like intentionality like, yeah, like, oh, seek out the information that I need for where I'm at as opposed to just consuming stuff to consume it and then overwhelm myself. A million.

Becky Launder 27:00
Yes, absolutely. Yeah. That sums it up very nicely.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 27:06
I'm just trying to, you know, work on my communication skills and repeat back to you what I heard for validation. Okay, here's so good. So would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert? I

Becky Launder 27:17
think most people listening the podcast can probably

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 27:23
handle. Oh, so Okay, bonus question then since Jeremy's your business partner, is He? Is he more of an introvert than? or an extrovert? Yeah.

Becky Launder 27:32
Yeah. No, he does not like talking. Socializing drains him. On the back end of the

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 27:46
What's one thing that's on your list for this year as kind of a big goal, either personal or professional.

Becky Launder 27:52
Okay, so I thought about this one in advance. And it's a mix of personal and professional. But one thing that I'm trying to commit to every day is 30 minutes of movement. So some kind of yoga, pilates, walk around the neighborhood, close my rings on my on my watch to watch 30 minutes of movement, 20 minutes of reading, and 10 minutes of journaling. So that's a full hour that is dedicated to me. And I think sometimes it's hard for us to find an hour and carve that out for ourselves. And so that's something that I'm trying to be more intentional about. I don't nail it every day. But even if I get like half of it, I get the reading and journaling and binocular movement or vice versa. I'm kind of like, alright, like, I took time for myself today. And I feel like I show up a million times better when I do that.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 28:42
Now, are you doing your 20 minutes of reading in journaling? Is that like just depending on the day might be a personal you might just be reading a fun book. Or it might be a business book, like do you kind of go back and forth? Or do you try to kind of just have that be downtime?

Becky Launder 28:55
Oh, I'm so bad. I just I like I wish that my daughter read the whole Harry Potter series over the summer. And I was supposed to be like keeping up with her and reading and I only got through the first book thing else and she was like, why are you reading that? We're supposed to be doing Harry Potter and I was like, oh, new book just came out and I'm over here in the corner reading it kind of gravitate to business books, things that I can learn or that are gonna kind of fuel my brain.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 29:27
I'm guilty of that as well. Um, okay, what is a piece of advice that you've gotten from someone that has stuck with you?

Becky Launder 29:35
If this was the hardest question of a podcast, I'm pretty sure. I went a lot of different directions with this. But I have to go back to quote my mama, because anytime I was like, little or teenager or even that was an adult, having a little bit of a moment or a little bit of a meltdown over something. She always says you should probably just go take a nap. Okay, that word and she's like, You should probably just take a nap, you should take a nap. But what I love about that is it's the power of the path, like, walk away from this situation. You're clearly worked up over this. Why don't you just go day lay down and rest? And then you're gonna wake up and you're gonna feel better? So it's my mom, everyone should go take a nap. We have

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 30:25
that in our house, but it's um, are you hungry? I think you need to eat something. Yeah, that's usually ours. And I'm not hungry. I don't need food. And then, as soon as food gets in the children, they're like, yeah, sorry. Yeah, yeah. Well, we should try that. I like that. Yeah. What is it non negotiable in your life? non negotiable. I

Becky Launder 30:48
mean, I would say family, you probably heard that a lot. And kind of, you know, a trend throughout this whole conversation, but prioritizing family. I try to work my calendar around my kids activities. I try to work when they're at school. I'm probably overly involved being teen mom for sporting teams, and PTA and all the things but I'm usually the first one to volunteer like, okay, yeah, I want to go on that field trip. Like I want to be there for all those things, as my kids get to have cool experiences. So and she lights up on the last

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 31:19
practices what she preaches because her business is where it is, because she also was sending out emails and DMS and messages at like 11. So she gets her work in but when, you know, around,

Becky Launder 31:36
and honestly, that's just like a season of life that we're in and I thought it for so hard being like I shouldn't be working in the evenings, like successful people don't work in the evenings, they take evenings off. And I mean, I take more afternoons off to do kids, then evenings, and eventually, that will probably change. But for right now, the Yeah, the afternoons if they're at practice, or if they have a game or after school activity. That's usually where the priority is, even if it requires a couple of extra hours of welcoming.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 32:08
Well, this has been such a fun conversation. As always, I always love talking with you, Becky, but if people want to learn more about you more about the academy, all of the things, how do they find you?

Becky Launder 32:19
Yeah, I'm pretty much at Mater and direct seller everywhere. You can start over on our website, modern drag feller.com. We also have our modern drag seller Academy that's open, you can come hang out with Sammy and I over there. And that's at Mattern direct seller academy.com and see me you might even have

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 32:42
to share my affiliate link. Yeah, please do

Becky Launder 32:45
and then you get $5. So I'm just plugging Sammys affiliate link here.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 32:51
I love it. Well, and Lisa was an episode two, you can come hang out with her. She's in the academy. And we have a few other Academy members. Because again, like we've been talking about this whole thing that you never know, the people that you're going to meet and I have met incredible people from all over. Well, oh, US and Canada, mostly inside of the academy that we just like network and chill and hang out with all the time that I would have never known if it wasn't for joining and barbecues program when I first started my business, never know like how things happen. So it's definitely like all of those things up in the show notes for you. Becky, this has been so fun. So

Becky Launder 33:29
fun. Thank you for inviting me. I loved our conversation. We probably could have talked another 30 minutes. So you know, maybe you need a break to my podcast next.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 33:40
Yep, for sure. For sure. Okay, well, we'll talk soon. I

Becky Launder 33:43
think I could

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 33:44
talk all day to Becky we have so much fun chatting about all things direct sales and just business in general. I am so blessed to have her in my world when it comes to building and growing my business, all of my businesses. She's such a great support person. So I hope you are inspired by her as well. Thank you so much for listening, and you can grab all of the information all of the shownotes all of the resources everything we discussed in this episode at easy style with Sammy slash 11 I'm sorry, easy style. Oh sammy.com/eleven I hope you enjoyed this episode. Make sure you subscribe wherever you listen, so you don't miss a single episode. episodes come out on Thursdays and while you're there. Leave us a review. It just helps the algorithm show us to more and more people. Also you can check us out on YouTube at easy style with Sammy as well. Thank you so much and we will see you in the next one.

Becky Launder shares how she went from successful direct seller to coach, course creator in this episode of Easy Style with Sami. She went from doing to teaching and supporting not just the individual direct sellers, but also consulting with the companies themselves. Listen now, and check out the full show notes for this episode.

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Sami Bedell-Mulhern 0:00
Time for another bonus episode. And this one is from my sister podcast easy style with Sammy. And it features Denise Morrison who is an incredible coach, mentor friend of mine, I love and adore her. And she's really sharing about how to like, let go of fear and mindset and like really dive into the things that you want to do, how to take action and get excited, get excited about where you're going and what you want for yourself. And she's sharing a bit of her story and how she got there. So I hope that you will give this bonus episode a listen. It's pretty fantastic. And of course, you can check out information about this episode in the show notes at the first click.net/podcasts I hope you enjoy this episode. And thank you so much for listening to these bonus episodes. We try to release about two a month, so make sure you keep checking back to see them because we don't really share them many places. So subscribe if you're not so you don't miss out on a single episode and enjoy. Welcome to Easy style with Sammy. I'm your host Sammy Fidel Mulhern each episode, I invite a friend, family member or colleague or just someone I've met on this journey called life to come and share their personal style and approach to business, parenting, life and everything in between. You'll hear motivational and inspirational stories that will help you refine and build your own personal style. Remember, style is easy when it comes from within. Hey, hey, everyone, welcome to Easy style with Sammy. today. My guest is Denise Morrison, Denise, thanks for being here.

Denise Morrison 1:31
Thanks for having me, my friend. So

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 1:33
Denise and I met through my cousin Sarah cook. So you met her. And she thought we needed to know each other. And then we've worked together we've connected to each other. We've collaborated. We've shared contacts and networked and all the things. So just one of the things that I love about my business and meeting other people that love connecting, like minded humans together, so thank you for being here.

Denise Morrison 1:58
No, it's my pleasure. You're so fun. Yeah, that Gotcha.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 2:02
So we're talking today just about kind of like mindset and life and I kind of wanted to talk a little bit about kind of like how you marry what you do for a living with how you live your life and all the things. But before we do that, why don't you kind of let people know a little bit about Denise's? Well,

Denise Morrison 2:20
the fun stuff is that I am a Gemini. I live in Norfolk, Virginia, and I'm married to a kiwi and my son was born in Australia. And that's the more fun stuff. But I am a physical therapist. Gosh, it's been 30 years. And I'm also a transformational health and life coach. So talk about marrying my journey and pieces together. So it's it's, I found the right pieces at the right time to make me me and to show up better for my clients. So yeah. I love that.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 2:55
How did you walk? So how so I know you focus mostly on coaching women, and helping them live their best lives? Like how is that you just said like you just found the right pieces at the right time. So how do you think you ultimately landed on working with with women in transforming as opposed to any other demographic that that could be out there?

Denise Morrison 3:17
Well, my heart goes out to them because I was then and I wish I had a me when I was in my 20s. And so lost and full of doubt and lacking confidence and beating myself up. So the wonderful guides and mentors and coaches that showed up in my life helped me put those pieces together when I was seeking things, seeking opportunities and avenues to study and grow. So and i just i My heart goes out to the women that are struggling silently, and almost like secretly, and I'm there for them. I my client calls me her secret weapon.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 4:01
That's amazing. But okay, so do you find because this happens to me all the time. I'm not a transformational life coach. I could probably use you in my life right now. But I find it's almost like the chef that cooks all the time in the kitchen, but then doesn't come home and make dinner. Like what is that like working with because you're hearing so many stories of pain and frustration and stress. And then you have your own life that has all of those things as well because you're a normal person. How do you kind of balance that in your day to day and not let it all kind of bring you down?

Denise Morrison 4:35
Oh my goodness. Well, thankfully, the coaching, experience and education and trainings helped me to realize that I'm there to hold space in a loving, caring, curious and non judgmental way. As opposed to in the healthcare world where I'm meant to diagnose and treat and give advice and kind of I take over where I know from being a coach so long now it's like, ah, when my clients are having a moment or expressing themselves, I'm just holding that loving space. And that's their journey. And so, you know, in the beginning, it was rough, like I had to learn my own journey, like not the people please and take over and try to fix I had to let that go. And so now I have my beautiful rituals, I have crystals, I listened to music with different frequencies, I go into yoga nidra poses. So I do some like before and after cleansing routine, so my energy is fresh for them. And on them. Yeah. And, yeah, that's fun. Well,

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 5:43
and that's super interesting, because I feel like maybe I'm wrong here. But that some of that stuff could be really impactful for all of us, like, before and after rituals for anything like going into a crazy work meeting, or, you know, when you're hitting stressful times? Like, are those rituals that you teach people? Or is it just like, there's, like, whatever meditation, like people just need to find the things that what pumped them up before they go in, and then help them come down when they're out? Like, you know, kind of, do you have different styles of rituals for different types of events? Or? Or how do you kind of pull that together? It

Denise Morrison 6:18
depends on the person I'm speaking to, everyone has a different kind of sensory system, their neurology is different. So a someone like me, who is born naturally, like excited and ready to go and beam, I need to calm myself down and come into my center. And I do grounding activities. So either way, and then cleansing, releasing ones after I'm finished interacting with people. But yeah, it depends on the person. And I would not want you to like jazz up your nervous system, when that's not good for you. So after working with children, so for so many years, I saw the impact on how the littlest thing can set off a little human beings nervous system, and it's especially important for my clients as well, because we, we sometimes lose that innocence and we too much from the world,

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 7:16
I would agree that we definitely take on too much. So I will and then the other thing that I wanted to ask you is like, I know that when you work with these women, a lot of times the things that they like you can see the bigger picture. And a lot of times the things that people come to you with, that they're struggling with aren't even like the root cause of what they're what we're struggling with. So I mean, I don't want you to give away every all of your secrets. But like, if we're sitting here and we're like, I'm overeating, or I want to lose weight, or I'm drinking too much, or I'm watching too much TV, I'm not going out and seeing friends, I'm staying home too much whatever it might be, kind of what's maybe one quick thing that we can sit within the moment to be like, Okay, I'm going to start to do the practice of reframing how I'm thinking about this situation.

Denise Morrison 8:09
Well as a beautiful practice is just stopping and sitting and being very still and quiet. And staying with that oddness that uncomfortableness and feeling what's really happening and trusting that you do know what's going on inside of you. And if you give yourself the space and the grace and the love to do it compassionately, as if you would look towards like a little child or a paddock thing, but to just sit there and go. What's going on now? Like where's my mind? Where's my body? What are my behaviors and start to pay attention in a curious way? Not in a judgy mean girl away, but a nice way. And notice like, what's what's going on? Do I feel no it actually we're not?

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 9:04
Well, and yes, I like that you said sit in the uncomfortableness. Yeah, but that's the hardest thing to do. It's like we're trying to do I mean, like, anyway. I'll work on that. Clearly. That's something you just triggered me a little bit. Maybe so awesome. Powerful, powerful. Ah, no, I because I think like we're especially the fact that you work with women. I know there's days where I'm like, Okay, I've you know, today I just recorded two podcast episodes back to back. I had a coaching call this morning. I had to take my son to the dentist this afternoon. Like I know at the end of today, I'm gonna be like, tapped out but still feel like super guilty to say, Hey, honey, I need you to like take control and take all the decisions. Like you know, there's I think there's those balances that we need to find in ourselves. So do you find that out? I'm most people are coming to you really like struggling with balance or are they struggling with their voice? Or like how can we start to really identify what that trigger is for us so we can kind of work deeper into that.

Denise Morrison 10:15
Well, what I like to use the word harmony instead of balance because we're forever, like falling off

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 10:25
balances, like has to be seems equal. Right, right, and

Denise Morrison 10:28
does a seesaw ever stay totally balanced? I mean, and even as a physical therapist, like the act of walking, you're perpetually catching yourself from falling. And so that's the definition of like a gait cycle. It's like, we're forever fighting against gravity. So, uh huh. As we ease into it, and we go, okay, what's up here and truly tuning in? Like, in a simple way to me, but re educating my women going? Are you breathing? Where are your muscles? Are your shoulders up to your ears? Are your feet on the ground? Where where's your thoughts right now? What's your body saying to you? Like, are you even feeling good? Do you have any energy and those little self care self within checks? And that's your best way. Because you're inside you. Nobody knows that. And, and then if you have a supportive family, spouse, whatever, to communicate with them and say, you know, this is my day, I need you for x. And that's okay. And as long as everybody is on board, you know, with how you, do you, then you're all set. It's all good. So it's usually those little stinky judgments that throw us off track when they're the I mean, maybe this is your process. This is how you roll and it's okay. And in your family, whatever works. And being okay with that.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 11:52
Of Yeah, well, so it's almost like saying, like, really pay attention to the inner movements in your body and like, knowing what you feel, as opposed to absorbing what's happening in your exterior space. Whatever. I don't that's not the right word. But Oh,

Denise Morrison 12:10
for sure, no, but it is like, like, a lot of times my clients, they're so outwardly focused on pleasing everybody, or doing the thing or showing up in a certain way that they're so drained by outside they feel really uncomfortable going, Wait a minute, I've been doing this for 30 years or 10 years. I don't like feeling so empty inside. And yes, it's hard, because there's a bit of acknowledgement that you are doing this to yourself. But it's also an opportunity to go I can change this because I recognize it.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 12:42
Yeah, that recognition piece is critical, right?

Denise Morrison 12:45
Oh my gosh, and I mean, it's something just happened to be before of course, it's always like in the shower and like, Oh, dang. Okay, haha, I see what you're doing again. And then course correct in a loving way and make new decisions.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 12:59
Yep. Well, and you met so you mentioned earlier that you are a PT, you are a PT first, right?

Denise Morrison 13:05
Yes, I've been a physical therapist. I started when I was in high school, volunteering and PT because I just thought it was so fun. Yeah.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 13:13
So and then you mentioned like, the things just kind of showed up to you in time. So do you feel like you did like you did this work that you're doing with your clients like you did this work yourself? And that's what led you to want to coach other people. I know you kind of alluded to that before. But did you go through the same process, personally that you are now coaching on and? And is it something that you have to continually like, is it like maintenance on a car like you're continually checking in with yourself? Or is it like, once you get to being a guru, like yourself, you're like, Okay, I got this, like, I can tackle anything? Ah, I mean, I think I know the answer that question, but I'm asking it anyway. Well, you

Denise Morrison 13:51
know, what's really funny is along the way, I became a yoga instructor because I was so enamored by the yogi's that they just seemed to be like, floating all around, and so happy. And then once once I realized, like, the world of yoga has human beings teaching it and there's issues. So it's like, when you when I arrived within my own self loving and caring for my own self, that was my little moment of stopping in alignment. But yeah, all of the things that I have found and pieced together what I was seeking to help me I now offer that for my women and yes, I need my own maintenance procedures for sure. My own maintenance practice that practices so to speak. Otherwise, I can't show up and be me. And then I'm, I love learning and I love like if there's a situation with a client that I've never heard of, I'll go research it and find out because I want to be able to be there to support them. wholeheartedly, you know? Yeah.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 14:56
I think that's good. And I think it's also good just to remember for all of us that it is a job Ernie, there's no real in destination, because I think that helps us think okay, like, I just want to do a little bit better today than I did yesterday, right? Like, do you think that kind of reduces some of that overwhelm of like, I'm going to fix this whole thing, and I'm going to have this life. And I'm going to like, this is what I'm going to be. And it's going to be amazing like that goal is almost makes it harder to do the work.

Denise Morrison 15:22
And just saying, like, fixing oneself, no one's broken. No one's broken. So when you can go, this is a little tweak, a little unraveling a new opportunity for me. So when I talk to my clients about getting triggered, I welcome those triggers. Because then we could say, Okay, what's the experience that you're having, because of that trigger? What pieces of you can we kind of like, take a look at and then maybe learn from and let go of and build up other pieces so that you've like Gone, okay, I saw the trigger, I learned from that, I'm going to do this differently. So it's, it's a beautiful like, neurological Korea, Korea got a choreography within oneself. And that's the coolest bit because there's so much power when you can trust and love yourself and what you can do?

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 16:12
Well, this has me thinking, now my brain is going because my word for this year, or my my vision for myself for this year, was to do what feels good without expectation. So I wanted to let go of expectation and just know that the work that I'm doing, the clients that I'm serving, the choices that I'm making in my business are because I know, it's what's going to get me to that next step. And that whatever the expectation is, is gone. Whatever happens happens in will, we'll see how that goes. But because I feel like sometimes just like you said, if we have these triggers, we have these emotions, we have these feelings, these thoughts, whatever, we see the picture of where we're going, but if we kind of let go of that picture, and just work on improving ourselves, sometimes we end up somewhere we were where we don't imagine. Yeah. Is that what you kind of see? Oh, gosh,

Denise Morrison 17:04
yes. And, and I believe the words are now being called goal drama and goal trauma. Because for some reason, like whatever may be like we've set a goal in our mind, but then our bodies might not be aligned with that, we might think, Oh, I don't want to do that i Someone told me I have to do that, or that's what they said. But inside of you, you're going, I don't want that at all. And typically, like the goal will not be met, because your whole being is going actually I'd rather go this way. And very subtle, and so very quiet. And all of a sudden, you've found yourself in a new brighter path that brought amazing people and opportunities. And you're like, oh, so yeah, having a nice vision. And as you've heard me say before, like have the vision of it, have the feelings around it have the sensations in all its pieces, the smells, the tastes, whatever. And that will, I think be a much richer experience day in and day out than just that little smart goal on the piece of paper.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 18:05
Yeah, well, right. I mean, there's point there's value to all things. But I think when you're looking at big picture, who am I? Where am I going to be? Yeah, I agree. With? Yeah, I love that. And do you think you would be where you are now with your coaching business? If you had set that as like, this is my goal. Like, I know, You've had very specific goals towards what you want your business to be. But do you think you would have gotten here if you had a specific expectation

Denise Morrison 18:37
mean it's and then that's the thing is I'm going what part of me was striving for that and now looking back, I'm like, most of those, like, aiming for big goals in different ways were put in into me by somebody else, else's ideas, somebody else's expectations old news inside my head, and I'm like, wait a minute, I don't even want that and the flow and the feeling of like ease and joy that comes from like, like having a great feeling. Instead of that harshness, that struggling that resistance and that like a beating myself up daily. That's the worst. Like, I did it for years. And now I'm like, Nope, we're just kind of flowing and go in here. And it's manifesting in its own way. And it feels so much better.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 19:21
Yeah, I love that. So this is your permission listeners to look within, listen to yourself and make the right choice based off of what you want, not what you think you want. And we've had I've had so many conversations with people, especially women entrepreneurs in the last few months, just about that with everything with how you approach the way you do your work, how you structure your day, how you structure your life and just giving yourself permission to do it your way and I kind of the last thing I want to get your your take on is the thing that I think is hurting us the most in society is Is this need to compare everything, my trauma is worse than your trauma, my rules are better than your rules, my way of parenting is better than your wear a pair of parenting and having this like duality that just we feel like we can say what we think, without any care for how it affects other people. And so is that something you're also seeing and, and kind of needing to unwind in people, if

Denise Morrison 20:24
they're willing to let go of that pattern that they have, and the need to do that. And there's usually an underlying need or reason that they keep that up. And typically, my clients soon realize that those people are probably not their people. And yeah, they find a different direction to go in, because it feels yucky when they, when they're in that space and place. And I mean, I jokingly say, you know, to my son, like, check yourself before you wreck yourself, instead of saying that or act, like pipe down and figure out the effects of what you're going to say, and the face that you're going to have on when you show up, show up at work,

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 21:09
like, yeah, take

Denise Morrison 21:10
responsibility for how you're presenting yourself in the world. Otherwise, you're gonna get fed back to you the crap that you're putting out, that's for sure. Well,

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 21:19
then the reverse is true, right? Like feeling like, well, I didn't experience as much trauma as somebody else. So therefore, I'm not as deserving of the work or effort, right? Like it goes the other way. Right?

Denise Morrison 21:32
I mean, like, what's the competition for? Like, yeah, I struggle for and, and, you know, I like it, you know, tell my clients and of course, with my son, I'm like, your, your, your way, your, your voice, your messaging is so unique, just show up and be you. And if they're not appreciating, they don't appreciate that band block, delete whatever you got to do to get that noise out of your life. Because you can find people you find your tribe, you know, well,

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 21:59
and I'm gonna call Denise out a little bit. She doesn't know this. But when we were first working together, just why need to show up like this on this platform, and I need to show up like this on this platform. So it makes me smile to hear you say that, because I know you've worked a lot on that over the last couple of years. Because that's a scary thing showing up as a coach online as yourself. And so it's fun to just see that whole evolution continue to happen to happen for you. Because yeah, we're all a work in progress.

Denise Morrison 22:29
Oh, gosh, yeah. And that's the thing. It's like, when social media, you know, here's my age here, like when social media came out, I had no idea that it was like, You were standing out there naked. Like, everybody's looking at you and judging you. I'm like, wait a minute, I'm not sure about this. And now now I'm like, hey, my message is going out to the ones that needed the most. And if you don't like him by switch off,

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 22:54
I'll see you later. I love that. I love that easier said than done, especially, you know, we can think that way. And then we get that one message and you're like her, but we're, it's worth we're in progress. Okay. We're gonna wrap this up with the five questions that I asked everybody on this podcast. So where do you go for information for learning for personal development? I know this is a biggie for you. So I'm excited to hear your answer. Well,

Denise Morrison 23:21
I am a big fan of Abraham Hicks. And that's on YouTube. And it's keeps me grounded to like, universal spirituality and my beingness I go back and hang out with my coach tribes where I've had my trainings and still watch their videos and listen to their podcasts and stuff, because it brings me back to home and where I've been, but sometimes along the way, I can forget as you as we all do, like, Who the heck am I today? And, boy, I have them nearby. And I just feel that the people that I speak to and network with, they share things with me in just the right moment and get the books

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 24:01
or whatever. Yeah, that has also been a common theme on this podcast. It's really, this has been so fun for me because all these different people and I hear these common threads and that's one to like, you know, just put out in the universe, what it is that you need. And all of a sudden the resources will just show up for you. Wherever, wherever you are. So that's a beautiful thing. Yeah. Okay. Would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert. Yeah, but I can an introvert. Well, I

Denise Morrison 24:31
could put the smile on and do today with social media. Like if I if I'm on social media, it takes me an hour to calm down afterwards.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 24:40
I feel you there I feel you there was one thing that's on your goal list for this year, either personal or professional.

Denise Morrison 24:47
Who I am going to be come a trauma informed certified coach over the summer. Yes,

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 24:56
that's amazing.

Denise Morrison 24:57
The level of healing that I'm Ready to do? Yes.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 25:01
Good for you. That's incredible that would that would you be able to do that work virtually as well? Or would that be more in person?

Denise Morrison 25:08
It's it'll be a bit of both. But I mean, mostly, we can do so many things through zoom now. Yeah. It's it's kind of like real life.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 25:17
Yeah. It is our new real life that what is one piece of advice you've gotten from someone that has stuck with you?

Denise Morrison 25:26
Ah, only speak when it's an improvement on silence.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 25:31
You know, that is the lesson I've had to learn is the pause, like embrace the pause. Because you're right, we filler talk, because we're uncomfortable with silence. Yeah. And

Denise Morrison 25:41
like I was saying before, what are you? Why are you putting out what you're putting out of your mouth and body, and you realize the consequences of what you're going to put out? And if it's helpful or hurtful?

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 25:54
What was that a hard lesson for you to learn to when you first started coaching, not the hurtful stuff. But like, when you're working with somebody allowing that pause to happen in the silence to happen and not feel the need to? Like you said at the beginning, it was hard for you to not just be a fixer and a problem solver.

Denise Morrison 26:08
Oh, yeah. Because I thought coaches were crazy people. I'm like, wait a minute, I was trained in the land of health care where I tell everybody all the things and I'm like, we don't have to do this to my clients know all the things. I'm just here to help them get it

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 26:22
out. Got. Yeah. That's so hard. It's so hard listening. And then waiting for a response. And just letting the response be is, it's a life life lesson I'm working on. What is a non negotiable in your life? laughing? You do it a lot.

Denise Morrison 26:41
I love that about you. Well, it just brings me like, I'm just I know, I was like, put on this planet to be pure joy and ease. And it just helps me like, spread it, you know? Yeah.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 26:53
Well, and Denise will share all her social links here in a little bit. But if you're not following her on Facebook to watch her reels like she does, like, and the things you rope your husband into, I'm just like, my husband would never it's amazing. I love it. I love it so much.

Denise Morrison 27:06
Yeah, just dark. And he has no idea because he's not on there.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 27:10
So good. So good. Okay, well, Denise, thank you so much for sharing your insights, your thoughts, your perspective, I think it's so important for all of us to really think about how we want to show up, and then doing the work to show up that way and feel good about it. So I appreciate everything you're doing in this space. If people want to connect with you more, check out all your stuff. How do they do that?

Denise Morrison 27:34
I would say go to my website, Denise Lynn morrison.com. Very simple. And I'm on all the platforms hanging out. If you see my face, this is me. There's a lot of us. And so I'm the cookie one.

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 27:51
Cookie one. Oh my goodness, well, and we'll link all of her links and the resources that you shared in the show notes at easy style of cmd.com/sixteen. Well, Denise, thank you for being here today.

Denise Morrison 28:05
Thank you for having me. You're

Sami Bedell-Mulhern 28:06
so fun. Big, big thank you to Denise for coming and being on the podcast today. And for shedding light on how we can show up, be the best versions of ourselves and allow ourselves to just be who we are. I think it is such a hard lesson for us and something that I'm trying to instill in my daughter to just be herself and my son. But how can we show up and be authentic and be real, easier said than done, especially the older we get. But I just love Denise's energy and the way that she supports people in living their best lives. So I hope you'll check out her resources. You can find them all at easy style with sandy.com/sixteen. Make sure you subscribe wherever you listen to these episodes, so you don't miss out on a single one. They all go live on Thursdays. So we have a new episode every week. And we also have a new blog post that goes along with these episodes on Tuesdays. So if you want to dive deeper into a particular topic, you can check that out at easy style with sammy.com/blog For now, have a great rest of your week. Thank you so much for listening, and I'll see you in the next one.

 

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