Ep 93 | Remembering to Care for Ourselves

So I want to want to say that, again, the things that people think you should be doing for self care aren't really resonating with you. And the the genius of that, is it those are things for other people that may resonate with them. And that's great. The thing about self care, is that you have to find things that resonate with you that that that aren't necessarily what everybody else thinks you should be doing. And I will say first of all, I don't like the word should,  because it puts unnecessary pressure on ourselves. Yeah. I like to flip that around to say I get to say, I get to do these things that make me feel good. – Dawn McGee

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It's easy to take care of yourself  when things are smooth and easy. What do you do when business gets into cruch or launch mode? That's when it's even more important to make sure you're taking care of your body and mental health. I'm in the middle of a launch so I thought it was the perfect time to go through and evaluate myself and what I'm doing to care for myself.

In this episode you'll learn:

→ why self-care is so important.
→ Dawn's 4-step approach to self care
→ how to get started.
→ rewarding yourself.
→ creating SMART goals you can acheive.


Want to skip ahead?  Here are some key takeaways:

[5:14] Self-care is so important because it helps you from dealing with burnout. You can be more productive in your personal and work life and be better at achieving your goals.
[8:49] 4 step approach to self care. #1 awareness, #2 measurement, #3 variety and #4 discipline. Working through your habits thinking about these four elements will help you make self-care a regular part of your routine.
[14:30] Don't think about what you “should” be doing. Instead think about, and explore, the things that work for you and your enjoyment.
[24:57] Communicate with your household on what you need. It is important that everyone is on the same page in your household so everyone can have their own self-care moments.
[31:47] Remember to determine how you'll celebrate for creating these habits and reaching the goals. This can be quarterly, monthly, weekly or daily depending on the habit and what motivates you.
[35:48] Create SMART goals. S(imple), M(easurable), A(chievable), R(ealistic), T(ime based). This will help you stay on task with what you want your habits to be.

Resources

Online Fundraising Virtual Summit
Food and Wine Fun with Dawn McGee

Dawn McGee

Dawn McGee

Founder

Dawn McGee is a Nutrition Evangelist, Global Cuisine Expert, and author of 365 Days of Healthy Living, a page-per-day book filled with tips, tricks, and life hacks to help you live your best life. She brings the fun back into being healthy, working with women who are sick of drinking the diet Kool-Aid and are ready for sustainable results. As a Certified and Licensed Nutrition Coach, she has worked with dozens of women to help them achieve their health goals. She is also the creator of the Eat, Move and Recharge Formula that teaches women how to easily incorporate healthy habits into their daily routines so they can stop thinking about food as their full-time job and have sustainable results. Learn more: http://www.dawnmcgee.guru

 

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Full Transcript

[INTRO] Hey there, Sami with another episode of the digital marketing therapy podcast. Thank you so much for joining me today, we are talking about self care. And this is something we've talked about a few times, kind of sorta, but I'm in the middle of a launch right now. So, you know, when I'm, in these crazy moments, it's very difficult for me to just kind of take a minute, chill and relax and, and remember that it's still just as important as ever, for me to, you know, take care of myself to care, my mental health take care of my body. And so I thought now would be the perfect time to bring Dawn McGee on to my podcast so that we can really kind of have conversation about self care as an entrepreneur, as a fundraiser in the thick of chaos. It's easy to do it when we're in kind of maintenance mode, right? Like when we're just in the brand awareness mode. And we're just trying to, you know, we don't have an event that we're launching, or we're not trying to go through like a huge fundraising campaign, right. That's when things get crazy. And so I invited Dawn to come chat with me and kind of help me and coach me through how to support myself in periods of crazy work time. I'm also traveling with my kids. Right now we're in Iowa for the month, I come home hen this episode airs, I think we won't be home yet. But we'll be getting ready to head home. And as you know, the online fundraising summit starts on February 8, so all the things, which is pretty typical for all of us. But that's why I wanted to do this episode. Now, when things are uncomfortable when things are busy, when things are crazy. It's always the best time to remember that we need to take care of ourselves, we need to support ourselves, we need to support our teams. And really make sure that we're staying healthy so that we can continue to do the amazing work that we do.

Dawn McGee is a nutrition evangelist, global cuisine expert and author of 365 days of healthy living a page per day book filled with tips, tricks and life hacks to help you live your best life. She brings the fun back into being healthy, working with women who are sick of drinking the diet Kool Aid and are ready for sustainable results. As a certified and licensed nutrition coach. She has worked with dozens of women to help them achieve their health goals. She is also the creator of eat, move and recharge formula that teaches women how to easily incorporate healthy habits into their daily routine. So they can stop thinking about food as their full time job and have sustainable results.

I love this conversation, she kind of put me in a place in my place on a couple things. And you'll hear at the very end a way that you're all going to hold me accountable as we go through this. So I really hope that you'll share with me how I can help hold you accountable in some of these things. So it was great to kind of have her hotseat with me a little bit and share with me ways that I can do better to take care of myself and then also validate the things that I'm doing okay with and not to put pressure on myself in those regards. So I think you'll really enjoy this episode.

But before we get to it, this episode is brought to you by our online fundraising virtual summit. Everything kicks off on February 8. So if you are a nonprofit that is really trying to figure out how to be the revive a monthly donor program or create a monthly donor program and really kick it off. For more sustainability and financial security in your organization. This is definitely the event for you. We have 20 plus speakers that are coming to talk about how to plan, launch, grow, retain and expand your monthly donor program. It'll be Monday, February 8 through Friday, February 12. The lineup is incredible. I'm so excited about it. So you can head on over to https://onlinefundraisingsummit.com to find out all the details and snag your free ticket. Yes, it is free. And I really hope to see you there. So again, https://onlinefundraisingsummit.com. I hope you'll join us. And for now let's get into the episode.

[CANNED INTRODUCTION] You're listening to the Digital Marketing Therapy Podcast. I'm your host, Sami Bedell-Mulhern. And each week, I bring you tips from myself and other experts, as well as hot seats with small business owners and entrepreneurs to demystify digital marketing and get you on your way to generating more leads and growing your business.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Hey, everybody, please welcome Dawn McGee to the episode. Thank you so much, john, for joining me.

[DAWN MCGEE] Oh, Sami, thank you so much for having me. I'm glad to be here.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Well, and I'm really excited about today because it's going to be kind of different than what we've done before in that you're going to kind of diagnose me in my level of self care and give me some tips. So I'm excited about this one, but we're talking today about self care and how we just get going in this mode and work and we tend to not take care of ourselves. So why is this something that you feel is a super important conversation for us to keep having.

[DAWN MCGEE] So there's, there are so many different reasons why self care is important. You know, I'll share a little story about myself, I've been an entrepreneur for about 20 years, and I've got a lovely 16 year old son. And when he was first born, I was, you know, he's, he's my only one. And I can be a little bit of a type a kind of person. So they're, you know, right, I want it to be a great mom, I wanted to have a great business I wanted, I wanted to do it all. So, you know, I thought that being a great mom and putting his needs in front of mine. And so, you know, I was mom during the day, and I was writing my business plan after the 2am feeding. And you know, that that didn't make me a great mom, it made me tired, and it made me cranky. And it just, it wasn't the right recipe. And so, you know, through a lot of trial and error, I finally figured out that when I took time for myself, then I could really be that better mom, and I was patient, and we had more fun, and my business thrived. And so you know, sometimes lessons can be hard.

What I'd really like to do is help people shortcut that a little bit. And, and talk about how important it is to take care of yourself so that you can achieve everything you want to in all areas of life. I think we've probably all heard that self care isn't selfish, especially this year, we've heard that you have to put the mask on yourself first before you help somebody else when you're on an airplane. The The main reason, though, is everything that you want in life happens easier if you take good care of yourself.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Yeah. And it's something it's like, you have to train yourself in it. Right? Because it's, it feels very counterintuitive, especially to moms that are also entrepreneurs or in the professional world. And you have you have to work on it just like you would any other business skill.

[DAWN MCGEE] Absolutely. And, you know, as an entrepreneur, I think a lot of people feel like their businesses, their baby. And you really, you want to put everything into it to give it the best possible chance of success. And it is a mindset shift. And I think if you read biographies from some of the most successful people, you will catch those nuggets of how they take good care of themselves, along with building a great business. And it's those nuggets that we really need to embrace and take forward and not think that it's an either or proposition.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Yeah, well, so we're recording this episode, I wanted to record this with you at a very specific time, because we all have phases in our business that you know, you're in maintenance mode. And so you know, things feel real good. And you're just kind of, you know, doing your thing and your task, your to do list isn't too crazy. And, you know, things are kind of calm. But then we also have like I'm in kind of a launch mode right now where we have a big summit that's starting in the next week. And so I'm really, really busy in my business with a longer to do list. And so we wanted to talk about this today. So we can maybe figure out how when things get tough. Dawn what kind of ideas and things do you have for people to start? Or to continue with this practice?

[DAWN MCGEE] Absolutely. And when you're when you're bringing a new habit to the forefront. I talked about a four step approach for brand new habits. And if if you've read Atomic Habits, you'll you'll find that it's not terribly dissimilar from James Clear's approach, but it's a little different. I talked about the first step is the awareness of where are you and where do you want to go? Because that's, that's the first step. And then the second step is measurement. Let's let's start putting things in place and measure our progress along the way because Rome wasn't built in a day, and we can't expect ourselves to change our habits and do something completely different overnight. But let's make sure that we're making progress towards our goals. Last two steps are really key. And the third step is making sure that they've got some variety in there. So we as human beings, will do things for a while, and then they'll either get kind of boring, or it's a ray. And we realize, yeah, I'll do that tomorrow. But if we have something that keeps it interesting and fresh, even if we cycle through a couple of different ideas, well, then it's much easier to keep going. And the fourth step is that discipline of the consistency so that it becomes a habit. And there's there's all different science on studies of how long it takes people to make things a habit. And everybody's going to be a little bit different. And we'll sort of latch on to something from atomic habits, which talks about systems. And when you've got systems in place, it is much easier to have good habits. And we'll talk about those when we talk about some of the things that maybe we can help you tweak a little bit with your self care habits.
High self care, I don't know, maybe you're doing everything. Right. Right. And that would be awesome.

But so tell me how, how are you feeling about the launch?

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Yeah, so I feel like there's so there's one thing I want to touch on with this, and I think maybe this lens into your awareness phase, I have done all the things, right. Like I've done webinars, I've launched courses, I've had memberships. And so part of my I feel very centered and good about this launch, mostly because I think it feels very much in line with what like who I am and what I enjoy doing in my work and who I enjoy serving. So I think that's been a big lesson for me.

And I think you probably talked about this when you talk about kind of the writing the things that you put into your self care, but really feeling just like, I'm in my zone of genius right now. And that feels good. So now all the chaos and craziness of this launch is crazy, but it feels manageable. If that makes sense.

[DAWN MCGEE] That's amazing. Yes, absolutely. And that's really a lot about Step four, about having systems in place so that they become easier, and they don't become so onerous.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Now, that doesn't mean that I'm like, you know, doing a great job at taking time to separate myself from my work. But at least from the stress perspective of my launch goes, that feels, I feel what's the word I'm looking for? I mean, I still feel a little bit behind, but I feel you know, like in control about how far behind I am, and it's manageable.

[DAWN MCGEE] Okay. That's okay, so you're not underwater? Correct. You're, you're treading, and that's good. That's awesome. So tell me a little bit about what you do in the normal course of your life for self care.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Um, well, you know, before COVID I'm definitely doing things like getting, you know, either going to get a manicure every month, or like, you know, spa treatments, things like that definitely relaxed me and helped me feel just, you know, force me to kind of shut down my brain.

I am somebody who is kind of struggled with the exercise and move by body piece. Um, and so I'm curious if you could just speak a little bit to like, sometimes I think we feel like there are certain things we should be doing. So I know I should be exercising, and I want to, I always feel better when I do. But, you know, I feel like I should be doing meditation. And I feel like I should be doing yoga. And I don't think that I have tried enough different things to really feel like what I enjoy. So sometimes I feel stuck in these are the things that everybody says I should be doing self care on, but they are always resonating with me to where I feel like they're helping.

[DAWN MCGEE] And that is a genius statement. So I want to want to say that, again, the things that people think you should be doing for self care aren't really resonating with you. And the the genius of that, is it those are things for other people that may resonate with them. And that's great. The thing about self care, is that you have to find things that resonate with you that that that aren't necessarily what everybody else thinks you should be doing. And I will say first of all, I don't like the word should,  because it puts unnecessary pressure on ourselves. Yeah. I like to flip that around to say I get to say, I get to do these things that make me feel good, and relaxed and good about myself, I mean, anything that falls into that category falls into the category of self care.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Well, and I will say the one thing that I'm really good at, is sleep. And my husband knows this about me our communication around sleep is real good. And, you know, we have two kids, they're nine and 12. So now they're kind of in the phase of, you know, it's much easier to put them to bed and things like that. But I am definitely religious about my sleep. And when that goes away, it's kind of it's kind of ugly. I'm just one of those people that Yeah, I've never been, like you said, you were, you know, working on your business that too, in the morning, like I, after four or five o'clock, like I just, I do shut down. And I'm good about that, because of the quality of work that I'm doing isn't worth the time that I'm putting into it at that point.

[DAWN MCGEE]  And that's brilliant, you know, where your, your good hours are, right. And I, I know that I am most productive between, say three and 8pm, which is really hard as a mom, because you don't usually get those hours to yourself, but but you make things work, right. And so you know that your foundation is sleep, there are a bunch of different components.

I talk with clients about the eat, move and recharge for me, eat move are pretty self explanatory. recharge are is essentially everything else is the sleep. It's the stress management, it's hydration, it's finding joy in things,
gratitude practices. It's everything else. So Would it surprise you to know that self care is a really, really large space of anything that makes you feel good about yourself?

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] No, that doesn't surprise me and I I'm what you're saying to me right now is kind of making me realize that I think we, in the professional space, think of self care as have to do like, it has to be a chunk of time. Whereas kind of like what you're saying is like, it could just be a fight like five minutes in the morning before I check my email just to write down my gratitude. And then it could be, you know, 10 minutes where I actually sit down and just eat my lunch instead of eat it at my computer, or, you know, take a five minute walk like, it doesn't have to be this like, Okay, I'm going to go take two hours and go to the gym every day. Kind of a situation. I mean, it could be but it doesn't have to be.

[DAWN MCGEE] Right? Absolutely. So. So if you made a list of things that either helped to relax you or help you feel better help you think better. What would the top three things on that last list be?

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN]  Um, for me, sleep. I think COVID having my husband home working from home all the time, and my kids home all the time has made me realize that as much as I've thought I'm kind of an extrovert, I'm actually an introvert. So that alone time to recharge, even if it's just, you know, 15 or 30 minutes, or uninterrupted where I can just watch my own show on TV or whatever, like that has been really impactful.
You know, some of that might be just being a mom, just having that 15 to 30 minutes, where I'm not responsible to anybody, like I know, they're going to go to dad the dog is going to go to dad, I'm not going to check my email, my clients wouldn't be all of that.

And then I have been trying to do better about moving my just moving my body. And when I do that first thing in the morning, even if it's just for 15 minutes, I've just noticed my mental clarity and my energy is so much better during the day.

[DAWN MCGEE]  So you've got a really good handle on things that are important to you and things that make you feel better, and which is an excellent start. So it might be that you're not doing as poorly with self care as you think.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN]  Well, I'm also in therapy every two weeks. And so she's pushing and challenging me on things. So I can't say that I would be this self aware all on my own. So that is also an appointment that I prioritize that

[DAWN MCGEE] And that is super important. And I that I don't want that to go without notice that taking care of our mental health is super important. Obviously outside my scope of practice, but everybody should know that they need to take care of themselves. Setting boundaries is really important. You've set some good boundaries around sleep. You've set some good boundaries around needing some time to yourself. Movement can come in lots of different forms. So you may not be the kind of person who really enjoys a gym habit, or maybe it's once a week instead of three to four days a week. Getting out for a walk in the fresh air can be a really great way to recharge, because there's something different about being in the fresh air as compared to being on a treadmill, even though you're doing the same walking.

That's a habit that we started back in March, when everything closed down, we, we got out for a walk every day and some fresh air. And, and as it has evolved and extended, I, you know, I've lost most of my walking partners. And that actually turned out to be okay, because I, I kind of like that time to take a walk, get some fresh air, as you said, not be accountable or responsible for anything besides getting some steps in and, and I always come back, we're rejuvenated.

And as the weather has gotten colder, you know, I'm in the Boston area. So as it got gets dark earlier, I started splitting my walks, I was doing half at lunchtime, and half at the end of the day. And that was also great, because it gave me some really good boundaries. So it sounds like you've you've got some great awareness around your boundaries.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN]  I mean, I do but I want to ask you a question about that. And like how you have consistently been able to do that, because, for me, I have found that if so, for like you, we started doing walks, and I would take my kids and I would take the dog for a walk. And we would always do it. We did it until it started getting colder. We're in Oregon. And we would do it like in mid morning like 10 o'clock right before they started nine o'clock before they started their online schooling. And we did it because they're required to do movement for PE, right. So it was kind of a way that we could all win. Like they get their 30 minutes of their required exercise time and I get to go for a walk, we do it in the morning.

What I found and this could just be me and this and you might say this is just the pattern that everyone needs to figure out for themselves. But I have found that if I don't do that first thing in the morning, I make all sorts of excuses. By the time it hits to three o'clock if even if I have it on my schedule to be like, Well, I have these other things that I need to get done. And it becomes the thing that I pushed to the backburner.

[DAWN MCGEE] Which is really good for you to know about yourself. So my first thing in the morning workout is downstairs in my gym, that's when I do maybe a little ride in my peloton or some strength training workout or some and some stretching. Because if I was out on the street first thing in the morning, I'd probably wander into traffic, if that's something that I need to know about me. And you make a really good point about how to fit it in. And my my first advice to people is to make an appointment with yourself and your calendar, I have the noon hour blocked out on my calendar Monday through Friday, for my midday walk and, and lunch.

Do I make it every day right then? I don't but but it is, in my mind that I owe it to myself to do. Sometimes that's not enough, and isn't always enough for me either. So the second thing that I did was I signed up for a challenge on November 1, I committed to walking 8000 steps a day, every day during November.

And as is typical with business owners and moms, we don't always do things for ourselves, but we hate to let other people down. Right. And so by committing to other people that I was going to do it, I did it and and then I keep doing it and guess it'll become a habit. So whatever motivates you, whether it's a commitment to yourself, or whether it's a commitment to your business, or a commitment to your kids or commitment to, you know, a fitness group you may join, figure out what commitment will motivate you sufficiently so that it will get done. And you'll you'll feel that same responsibility to get it done as you feel to your to do list for work.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Yeah. So I would say like my commitment to sleep and my ability to take time away, you know, my husband's gotten really good at being like, you know, seven o'clock, why don't you just go to bed, I'll take care of the kids like you go take your time, do your thing. I'll put the kids to bed, no stress, but it's taken us a long way to get there. And vice versa, right for him to do the things that he needs to do for himself. So I think communication is a huge piece of that for us internally as a family. And then I think like you mentioned blocking off time on your calendar that commitment and communication with your clients or your team or your staff or whatever.

Do you have any kind of tips for ways to for people to kind of navigate between the Okay, now I understand what I might need in order to refuel and recharge myself but how do I then make that work for you or the others that are around me without making it about the others that are around me, if you kind of get them saying.

[DAWN MCGEE] Absolutely, it's, it's about having that, that conversation in a non emotional way, and a non competitive way. And, and it is part of that mindset shift because it needs you, it needs to be about yourself. And, and it's okay for it to be about yourself. Right? Right, because it is about you, it's not about them. And if you approach it as if I was to say, I really need to make sure that I take time to walk every day. And here's my plan, I'm going to do half an hour in the middle of the day, and half an hour at the end of the day. Do you see any impediments to that, and then I'm making it about me, I'm not making it about them, I'm not taking away anything from them. And I'm giving them an opportunity to say, Hey, you know that that doesn't work, because I need to be driven to, you know, this place, and at the end of the day, right, and then you start the negotiation process. And in the end, as long as you're doing it in a frame of mind where you know that you need to do this for you, and you want it to work for everybody else, then you're having a discussion about it, rather than having an argument about it, does that make sense?

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] 100%. Yeah, and I have these, you know, quote, unquote, negotiations with my husband all the time, because just the nature of my business, I have different things that happen that, you know, like I said earlier, sometimes I'm just in total maintenance mode schedule is more flexible. And, you know, like, we have the summit, this February 8th – 12th. And so I've already told my husband, hey, like, I need you to be picking up extra duty that week, so that I can focus on this, because this is a big piece of my business.

Now, I also consciously didn't, because he's in the financial space. So I didn't do it the last week of the month for the first full week of the month, you know, because then that would be like me saying, hey, on top of the fact that you're doing monthly closing, I also need you to take on more responsibility with the kids this week. So you know, we're definitely always trying to navigate navigate that. And I think the communication about self care and the communication about work all kind of play into each other as far as how we eliminate some unnecessary stress.

[DAWN MCGEE] Absolutely. And and know that you've done some of the pre negotiation, because you already know that your that his schedule is such that you want to work around the first and last week of the month, which is probably good to put on the table to start off with, right, let's let's not take that for granted. You know, I plan this so that, you know, doesn't interfere with what I already know about your schedule. What else Don't I know? or What else do we have to take into consideration?

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Well, and then on the flip side, I always know during college football season every Saturday, I don't have a husband, we figure out what to do. Right. So like everything, everything cycles in a different way.

[DAWN MCGEE] Right? Absolutely. And that kind of communication is great. It applies to all aspects of life, and taking care of yourself, your health, your movement, you know, it all plays into being a piece of the puzzle. And so the first key is to make that, that shift in your in your brain that this is another piece of your puzzle. And it's just as important as every other piece of your puzzle.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Yeah. Okay, so let me ask you this. So I am in launch mode. The one thing that I'm really trying hard to do right now is make sure I'm drinking a lot of water and make sure I'm getting my sleep like those are kind of the only two things that I feel like I can handle on top of my normal life right now while I'm in this mode. And then hopefully, I'll be able to really like after our launch is done, take a couple days to kind of work a little bit less rest, less rest and recharge. So when you're talking about kind of these four stages, like if I'm just getting started, and I'm like, okay, I want to tackle this in the new year, I want to take better care of me, like obviously wouldn't recommend starting with the awareness phase when you're in the middle of a crazy period, like what does like how would people get started or when should I kind of reassess where I'm at with with my self care and my business.

[DAWN MCGEE] So I think the first thing you want to do is, is narrow down your focus. So self care is even though it's only a piece of your wellness, it's still a pretty big area. So you know if you've let's let's say for sake of example, it's it's hydration that you want to sort of dial in your hydration and you're drinking your water. So you apply those four steps to just the hydration piece, the one activity your whole life. Yeah, yeah. Because if you, if you start to try and apply it to too big of a piece of your puzzle, then it becomes insurmountable. And you just, you won't make any progress.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Okay, so I might say, once my launch is done, I've decided that the one thing and I mean, you mentioned also like the discipline piece, like everybody has different guidelines on how long it takes you to create that habit. But so I might say, for the next 30 days, I'm going to track and measure how much water I'm drinking with the goal of what X amount of ounces every day.

[DAWN MCGEE] Right, then absolutely. After that, maybe it's okay. I've decided that I want to take a walk every morning again with my kids. So then, for four weeks after that, or 30 days after that, then I layer on the walk. Right as the next thing you're going to work on, right? Because you this because life is a journey. And there's no, you know, once once you get to the finish line, there's really nothing else we're going to be able to do. So you want to enjoy the journey, and you don't want to make it a non stop class and self improvement, in some ways. And and in other ways you do you want to keep it at a level that's manageable, where it doesn't feel like a burden. Right?

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] And, I mean, are you because some people are fans of like, Okay, well, I created this habit, and I've been doing great. And maybe this goes back to what you alluded to earlier with, like, what is the motivation? So is it accountability to somebody else? Or is it like, okay, now that I've done this, I'm gonna give myself this reward if I accomplish this goal, like what? What other ways have you found to make it easier to kind of keep that energy going?

[DAWN MCGEE] Celebrations are super important. And I'm really glad you mentioned that. When I when I work with clients, the very first thing we talk about, are the celebrations for the past week, what were your successes? What What did what really went well, and then you decide the cadence that works for you. Quarterly monthly, weekly, daily, to find things that went really well, about what about the progress about what you're working on, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

As long as you're feeling good about it, and you're finding those nuggets, it will keep going. As long as you're doing, you know, all of all of the other steps, right? So let's say you're drinking water for 30 days, and you're like, Oh, I am really tired of the taste of plain water, I'm just going to, I'm not going to track it today. That means that we we step three, and having variety so that we don't get bored. Maybe you want to toss in the lemon to your water, or maybe you want to mix it with some hot chocolate for today. You know, there's no no real right or wrong. It's all about balance. And so you need to mix it up, have the variety, so that when you celebrate those successes, let's say at the end of the week, you said Man, I I found three new ways to enjoy my water. Yeah. And then that stays Top of Mind and it becomes a part of your habit.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] So you mentioned earlier that you're a little bit type a I'm a little A lot of it, type a controlling my family through listening to this will probably Anyway, I'm just I mean like when it comes to schedules and profit anyway. So um, and I think a lot of entrepreneurs are would say they're the same way. So if I get to a point where I'm like, okay, I've decided I'm gonna like,

Okay, let me just give you a real life example. I decided in January that I was going to do this yoga thing every morning, and I've been doing it most mornings, but I do great for a while and then if I miss like, maybe two or three days of it, then I'm like, whatever. Like I'm done with this. And it's so much harder to get back in. So how can I not like so same like feel those rewards like my reward was I'm always hesitant to buy workout clothes. This is very long winded question. So I apologize. Okay. But um, my thing was like, Okay, I never want to buy workout clothes for myself because I feel like it's too expensive and is too indulgent. So for me, I was like, Okay, if I can work out and do yoga for the better part of 30 days, then I'll have created this habit so that it makes more sense because I'm gonna keep doing the workout. But then I you know, have a few days and I don't do it and I move on. And I'm like, okay, whatever, doesn't matter. So either that, I guess my question is either the reward is not worth it enough, or I get in my own head and because I didn't do it well enough. I just say, scfrap it. And I'm going to just move on to something else.

[DAWN MCGEE] I love this question. So this gives me an opportunity to talk about smart goals. Okay? Because you set a goal of doing yoga for the better part of 30 days.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Well, every day, I said, I wanted to move my body Well, okay, my goal was actually I want to move my body for 30 minutes every day. And then I chose yoga as the activity for the short term.

[DAWN MCGEE] Okay.

So you're, I'm sure you're familiar with SMART goals from your business. Right? So, so I changed the app, I like to use S simple. M is measurable, A is achievable. R is realistic, and T is time based. So So let's take a look at that goal and see how it fits as a SMART goal.

So it was time based. That's that's super simple, super clear. It's pretty simple, right? You want to move your body for 30 minutes, every day. It's measurable, right? You you do it right? Or do it? capsule, right? It's very binary.

And now the two that are the toughest, achievable and realistic, so why understand that? That you want to do it every day? Knowing what you know about your schedule in your life? Was it realistic to expect that that would be your goal?

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] No. And going from the fact that I didn't have that as a goal at all, even in the last quarter. I mean, like, not even resolutions, not even like a resolution kind of thing. Um, I think, to maybe have started by saying, like, I want to move my body 30 minutes a day, three to four times a week, would have been much more realistic and much easier for me to like, do because and I can still I mean, I could still change it. I mean, that's the beauty of my goal, right? But I'm sure, you know, as soon as I say every day, then like, as soon as I skip one day, it's like, well, you didn't do that.

[DAWN MCGEE]  Right, and so and so, all or nothing approach and doesn't satisfy the requirement of realistic. And it probably doesn't satisfy achievable because for most people, life happens at some some point, life happens.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] And there are things out of your control that you have to put at a higher priority, right, like I had to Okay, the day that I got off was because I had to go get a COVID test. And so I had to test at 8:30 in the morning, and that was eight o'clock to 830 was when I was doing my yoga, like, that's the time that I had carved out. And so I couldn't do it that day. So I mean, I had a reasonable reason. But then the next day, it just then threw me off. And so the next couple of days, I was like, whatever, I didn't do it yesterday, so I don't need to do it today.

[DAWN MCGEE]    Right. And so part of any of this is giving yourself grace. I tell people all the time it's not being successful at being healthy, does not mean that you're not never going to fall off the wagon. If hopefully, that wasn't too many negatives. The real key to being successful is that you keep getting back on the wagon faster and faster each time. Because just know that you are going to fall off. Yes, things are going to throw you off track. And the key is how fast can you get back on track.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] And I've never heard anybody say that before. And I think that's great. I think that's brilliant. Because just like you said, in number four, we're trying to build that discipline. So maybe it's going back. So maybe if mine is, you know, x moving my body, and that discipline didn't happen. So then maybe I need to revisit what's the variety that I'm doing? Or what's the awareness about who I am, that I'm not setting the right goals to be successful for myself?

[DAWN MCGEE]  Absolutely. And that's great awareness. I know for myself, that trying to do any one thing for 30 days is is pretty much a recipe for failure. I crave variety. And I need to change up my routine fairly often. I do a lot of different things you asked about movements, and I'll circle back to that. There are so many different fun things. And over the years, I have tried, you know, Tai Chi, yoga, Pilates Barre. You know, walking is something that I think is super important because it's it's weight bearing and it's and it's movement and it's just it's something you can do forever. Hopefully! Last year, we started playing pickleball I used to play tennis I played volleyball, but, but never like, just one thing. I love to mix it up. So there are lots of different things to try. And I, I, I believe that variety is one of the most important keys to being successful.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Yeah. Well, okay, so we've talked a lot about me and my excuses. But I'm curious if you can share some other excuses like other people that are listening, that might be like, Okay, well, that's her issue. I don't have that exact issue. But what are some of the common excuses or things that you hear from people when it comes to why they're not addressing self care in their business and in their personal life? And in their whole kind of whole body? perspective?

[DAWN MCGEE] Yeah, that's a great question. The the common things I hear are, I don't have time. I don't know what to do. Um, they almost all come back to us and say, I'm too busy, which comes back to I don't have time. I have no, I have nobody to play with. And that's, that's a challenge for people who are truly extroverts.

Like you, I found out that most of my family were much more introverts
during the COVID time, which worked out well for us, but people who are true extroverts are hurting right now. They need someone to play with.
Off the top of my head, those are the main things that that come along with self care, there are tons of other excuses that go along with eating challenges and, and fitness challenges.

But and so what do we say to people who are late who say, I don't have time, I'm too busy. The first thing is coming back to why do you think you're not important enough to make time to take care of yourself? How can you build it into your routine? How can you put it on your calendar? How can you have that conversation with the people who are asking for your time to put up boundaries and say, yes, you can have this much of my time. But this other piece of my time, needs to be for me.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] And I just want to say something about that really quick, because I went this was a huge thing. For me, I went through a huge transformation last year with a lot of pressure from other colleagues that I work with on a regular basis. The are not as important and the scheduling and managing my schedule, I am now very diligent about my calendar. Because I was one of those people that felt that if a client emailed me, or somebody emailed me needing my help support, whatever, I had to respond to them right away, and I had to put them on my calendar immediately. So even if my Friday was wide open, but I knew that I had already blocked off Friday to do XYZ, I would still put them in there because they need my time. And that shift has been really hard for me to to that discipline has been very hard for you. But that has been a game changer when it comes to I don't have enough time and prioritizing myself. Because even if I said to them, yep, I can fit you in next Wednesday at 10 o'clock, there was no negative backlash. It was all just internally, mentally inside myself as an entrepreneur that I need to be there for everybody else. Well, as a mom, right, I need to be there for everybody else all the time. So I just want to challenge people on that. Like, if that's something you do, managing your your calendar can be a game changer.

[DAWN MCGEE]  Absolutely. And it's funny you say that because when I when I first got into business, one of my mentors said, a sale delayed is a sale not made. And it's really easy to take that sense of urgency that if somebody is interested in being a customer and need some time that you have to put that first. And and I would say yes. And it's just as important that you make sure that when you talk to that customer, you are the best you that you can be. Which means that that appointment you make with yourself for self care, working on your business paperwork, things that are important to be done are just as important as the customer calls. 100%.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Yeah, well and I think we're going into a new year. Whether you're a fan of resolution or not weather, you know, I don't typically make resolutions but I love just the fresh start feeling of a new year just like I do a new month. I think this is just a great room.
under two, as you're starting to create, or you know, start fresh with your budget, start fresh with your social media. But whatever your business goals are personal life goals, to make sure to add, what's the one thing that you're going to add to your schedule for the next 30 days, that's going to be taking care of you in carving out that time.

[DAWN MCGEE]  Absolutely, super important and, and pick something that's realistic and achievable. And give yourself some grace. If If a true real emergency happens, and you can't fit every day, because, you know, in addition to a new year and a new month, every day is a new chance to start fresh, if you need to.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Yes, so I'm going to commit to, and I'll try to post this in our Facebook group or keep you guys up to date on our Instagram stories. But I'm going to commit to I'm going to change mine to for the next 30 days, even through the launch and everything because I think during lunchtime, it's almost more important that I take that 30 minutes first thing in the morning to clear my head  three to four days, I'm going to move my body 30 to 40 minutes a day. So excellent. You guys are going to be my accountability partners.

[DAWN MCGEE] And I'm going to ask you to share with us what are the three or four different types of movements that you're going to choose from, because you may get up one day and say, I, boy, I just don't want to yoga today?

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] Well, and that's also what happened was, I was doing all the yoga and I hadn't exercised or stretched and so long, like I was so sore. That like, one morning, I was like I can't I can't do this, but because like you said I didn't have any variety in my head for what I was going to do instead, I just didn't do it. So, um, you know, I think for me, it's gonna be I, I've always been a dancer. So I think I want to try to find some online barre work, I want to do yoga, and I want to figure out I'm have to do some research and figure out some fun cardio stuff that I can still do indoors with my kiddos. So then I have a couple different things that I can pick from during the day.

[DAWN MCGEE] I love that. There. There are tons of things on YouTube. And yes, let me validate that Yoga is hard. It's It's not easy. And after years of running and doing tons of things I you know, I have those classic runners tight hamstrings and calves. And so Yoga is really hard for me. So I call it stretching, it makes me feel better about it. And, and I to it. Yeah. And so so I understand that, you know, YouTube has a variety of things. A lot of the fitness studios are doing online classes, there is a group called fitness 360 that has some live classes and some recorded classes.

And as I mentioned before, I'm I'm a big fan of peloton in addition to the bike, they've got strengths and stretching and yoga and cardio and boot camp. And even like, if you go on an outdoor walk, they do like guided walks where, you know, they play the music, and they coach you through different pace changes. And it's like having a company on your walk, if you want to help me. Well done.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] This was amazing, I think lots of good thoughts, lots of good ideas. And in general, just a great reminder for us to take care of ourselves so that we can continue to do the amazing work that we do serving the communities and the people that we serve. So any last final words, you know, last kind of little motivational jab you want to give everybody?

[DAWN MCGEE] Sure, I'll leave you with two thoughts. One is that it's all about sustainable balance. If it's not something that you can do for the long term, it's probably not keeping you in balance. And the second is that you've only got one body. And if you don't take care of it. Where will you live, to take care of your body.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN] So good. And if people want to know more about you and check up on kind of the products and services that you offer, how do they do that?

[DAWN MCGEE] The best way to do that is through my website, which is dawnmcgee.guru. And you can connect with me all of my social media links are there all of my programs are there. My big mission for this year is to put the fun back into being healthy. So I hope that you will join some of my fun programs like our virtual cooking and wine tasting.

And I'm always here to help answer questions in my in my free groups too. So if you're cooking in wine thing, I'm going to have to check that out. Those are two of my favorite things. And also sorry, my bar like that cooking dinner is like my bedtime like you know. I have a ton of fun, so much fun. Awesome.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN]  Well thank you so much for joining Dawn, I really appreciate it. We will also link up everything in the show notes at https://www.thefirstclick.net/podcast that you can check everything out there. But, Dawn, thank you so much. It was wonderful.

[DAWN MCGEE] Thank you so much for having me, Sami. Good luck with your launch.

[SAMI BEDELL-MULHERN]  Thanks.

[CLOSING]  Okay, so yeah, so you're gonna hold me accountable, right, you're gonna head on over to the Facebook group at https://facebook.com/groups/thefirstclick, hold me accountable. I'll be posting there and in my Instagram stories @thefirstclickmarketing my progress in my movement, three to four times a week. If you have any movement ideas, please share them with me. Otherwise, you know, it's going to be fun. We're going to do this together. We're going to take care of our bodies together, we're going to move together we're going to take care of our mental health together.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I really hope you'll subscribe wherever you listen and leave me a review. So I can hear all the wonderful things some of your favorite episodes. Let me know and make sure you head on over to online fundraising summit.com register for the free workshop February the 12th and I will see you in the next one.

 

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