Do you ever wonder what allows one person to be successful and the other not when they have seemingly the same recourses? It all comes down to mindset. How are we setting ourselves up for success and what do we do that is holding us back.

What You'll Learn:

→ how to determine your limiting beliefs
→ ways to shift that belief
→ the importance of practice

Want to skip ahead? Here are key takeaways:

[4:36] Practice is key! Remember that this is something that takes ongoing work to remind yourself of the belief and reframe it to help you with your continued growth. 
[8:30] Pay attention to the stories you make up for yourself. What is it that you believe is tru and ask yourself is it really true? Do you have evidence to show that this is true?  Or is it just a thought that you can change?
[17:41] Don't flip the though, address it! We don't want to just flip our thought. We want to reall understand where the thought is coming from so we can come up with a new thought that can replace it. Journaling can really help you discover what it is that is causing that thought in the first place.
[27:36] Why getting a no doesn't mean no. When you come into a conversation with your own beliefs then a no can come with a lot of your own feelings. When you work on your limiting beliefs than you can reframe it to understand where they're coming from and reframe the conversation.

Full Transcript

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] I'm sure you've heard it a lot, mindset is everything. And it might be a little woowoo. And it might be a little out there. But it really can make a big impact on your business and your overall happiness in your personal and professional life. My name is Sami Bedell-Mulhern. I am the host of the digital marketing therapy podcast. Thank you so much for joining me today.

I am joined by Michelle Duarte today for this episode of the podcast. And we're talking all about limiting beliefs. What is it that we tell ourselves? What are the stories that we tell ourselves? How do we show up? And how do we not achieve the greatness that we know we can because we're in our heads. And that's what we're going to talk about today.

Michelle Duarte married 50 year old mom of two little humans, she helps entrepreneurs level up in their business and personal life along with along with inspiring and helping others take charge and how they get older, inside and out. We're going to talk about all sorts of things with regards to how your mindset shifts, your sales shifts, your asking for money shifts your conversations with people. And I think it's a really great reminder that a lot of the time we're telling ourselves things that just aren't true. I know I'm walking away from this interview with some things that I need to work on myself, and you'll hear some of that in the episode. But it's just a great reminder to listen and not judge ourselves and just be the version of ourselves that we want to be.

Before we get into this episode. It is brought to you by our patrons. So head on over to thefirstclick.net/patreon and download some of the resources that we have. For just as little as $5 a month you can take action on these podcasts and get the work done so that you can reach all of your goals in your business. Let's get into the episode.

[Introduction] You're listening to the digital marketing therapy podcast. I'm your host, Sami Bedell-Mulhern. And each week, I bring you tips from myself and other experts, as well as hot seats with small business owners and entrepreneurs to demystify digital marketing, and get you on your way to generating more leads and growing your business.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Hey, everybody, welcome Michelle Duarte to the podcast. Thank you so much for being here today.

[Michelle Duarte] Hey, Sami, thanks for having me. I'm so excited. chatting with you.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] I know we have met not in the marketing side of my business, but in the direct sales side of my business. And I'm so grateful and thankful because you have just given me so many things to think about in general, in my whole life, and how to pull it all together. So I'm really grateful that you're taking time out today to be here.

[Michelle Duarte] I love I love this. This is like my, my place. This is my head.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] So we are talking mindset today. And kind of the limiting beliefs that hold us back and keep us from achieving our greatness. So why don't you just share a little bit about why this work is so inspiring to you and kind of why this is your mission to help everybody just live their greatest life?

[Michelle Duarte] Yeah, I think that's a loaded question. Because I feel like in every avenue, what I learned becoming a coach is that everything in my life gets touched, right? So when we are as entrepreneurs and business people, we're trying to focus on our business and level up in our business. And we learn very quickly, that it isn't not it is not something we don't know how or can't do in our business. But something that we are carrying around on a personal level that really is keeping us from moving forward. And a lot of ways. I learned that myself. So I've done so much to find joy in everything that I do every day. And I love that you know, and when you get to that place, you were just like, wow, I can't believe I wasn't here before and why don't more people know about this. It's so it's so and I say this lightly, but it's so easy. And so simple. But yet we fight ourselves every single day. And we we make it harder. And I say we because I have been in that place. And I have done that. And I'm out actually like you on the other side and still improving in different areas of my life because of the different thoughts that I have in my head.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] When you say easy because the steps are easy, but it's the practice that is difficult, right?

[Michelle Duarte] The practice, it's the practice of it. So the we taught everybody says so you're on social media, it's like everywhere mindset, this mindset that you got to do this, you got to do that and you feel like you're everybody's constantly talking about it. But believe it or not in the real world, nobody's talking about it. And when we say it's easy and what we're doing it's really Something that you have to sit and practice it just like everything else. And my kids are five and six right now, you know, I'm 50 years old. And when I look at my kids and what I want to give them, I think what I want might be different than a 20, 30, even 40 year old mom would want to give their young children because they need to be self sufficient, independent and happy and joyful in their life. And I want all that for them. Right. So in this particular case, it's just about being able to focus on your thoughts, and not put new ones in there, people get a misconception about that, not put new ones in there. It's all about just tweaking what you have right now.

And I, this is the part that I love. The part that I love is that every single person that I meet, and every single person that I talked to, every client I talk to, it is, they really are perfect the way they are, just haven't discovered that other part, and it's not their fault, nobody's ever taught him that way. You know, we've always been taught a certain way to do things. And you know, as I do, I've been marketing before to, even in direct sales, you're always being taught a certain way to do things. And this thought process, and this way of succeeding is like breaking the mold. And at first, so yeah, it's practice,

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] I want to jump into this, some of the steps here in a second. But I also just kind of wanted to touch on the beauty of this is I feel like, you know, like I work from home, I work for myself, if you're starting a nonprofit, you're hyper passionate about what you're doing, you're probably feeling a little bit isolated, you have, you know, maybe a small team, but there's a lot of pressure, I mean, whatever it is, um, we tend to have it, at least I do tend to have a hard time, putting things whole picture, like I feel like I need to have like, I need to have my business success somewhere. And I need to have my family success somewhere. But like the limiting beliefs that we have, like bleed and merge between all of those things. So I love what you how you approach it, because it's really kind of helping to bring it all together in ways that you might, you know, have not even realize one is affecting the other. But when you work through that limiting belief, both sides of your life then become more successful.

[Michelle Duarte] Yes. And as you know, because of the way we met through direct sales, and the people that we are biz besties online, you know, I have clients like that there's some of those people are my clients, and when I get on a call with them for the very first time, I'm going, Oh, she's gonna want to talk about this is this is the topic, I already know what she's gonna want to talk about. And I'll tell you that probably 90% of the time, we haven't even touched on that yet. Yeah. Okay. So it's just really, I think that this, what we are going to get into a little bit more in detail is really just understanding that your mind has it all. You just have to need to look at it differently. You just have to take if you have a problem it this is not my quote. But if you have a problem, it's in your thoughts. Yeah, that's me. I've experienced it. I've been through it. And it is so so true. Mm hmm.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] So it all starts with a limiting belief, right with us the things that we tell ourselves. So it could be something like, and I'll let you give some you give better examples than I do. But it could be, if I ask somebody for money, they're not going to give it to me. Or if I throw an event, nobody's going to show up. Or, you know, there's already an organization out there that's doing the work that I'm doing, why is anybody gonna want to give to me? But it starts with those kinds of stories, right? Yes.

[Michelle Duarte] Well, that's the thing, you hit it right on the nail, it's a story. So when we talk about the model, and when I coach somebody, there is a specific model that you're following. And that is, the first thing is circumstance. And that's what you're talking about is a circumstance because you know what all these stories we make up. We truly believe they're a fact, we truly believe we can go to court and prove to the judge that it's true. No matter what, but when you say that to somebody, they're like, Well, yeah, yeah, I can. Oh, so you have evidence of that. Wow. Is it evidence that you have on that? Or is it just that you have on that? Well, it's just my thought, okay. It's just a thought then. Right? And can you change your thoughts? Well, right now we say, yes, you can change your thoughts, because then that would disprove your fact that you just told me, right? No, this is where it becomes very interesting. And also very much like, oh, my gosh, now the brain is starting to work in a different way. Right? So you have that circumstance that feeds into that thought of, I can't add this, I can't this customer is going to tell me no, when I ask them, they're going to say no, you know, and let's just price point for an instance. Right? Everybody has a different price point. And some people have this belief that this thought that if it's a cheap thing, they're going to buy it, but if it's not cheap, they're not going to buy it and That's not That's not a fact, it's a thought.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Right? Well, and that comes so much from our own perception of what we think is, quote unquote, cheap or quote unquote, expensive.

[Michelle Duarte] Yes. And so I'll give you a couple of examples. Mine being one minus, you know, I grew up in an amazing family, my parents lived paycheck to paycheck, my mom was a stay at home mom, my dad worked every single day, you know, they only had so much money. And it as a child, as you grew up, you see them paying the money, you see them struggling, oh, we can't do this. We can't do that, you know, you look at all these things. It's not doesn't define a horrible childhood. But it does say to me that money is an issue, right? I grew up with this. And there's so many stories like this, it could be maybe the culture you grow up with, it could be anything or house people see you like, Oh, she doesn't have any money. You know, it's all these perceptions that we little by little ingrain built in ourselves. So now we are adults, and we go to do it. And we're like, well, I want to spend that money. And why would they going to spend it if I'm not going to spend it? Well, is that really fair? It isn't, first of all, and it's a thought that is a practice to break? Because it is so true. Because I was there, you know, I was now making money is easy. And I truly believe that now that's the that's way up here, right? People go to, I can't make money to make you money as easy, right? But there's all these steps in between there that you have to get to to get there. And that's okay. Everybody's brain works a little bit different. And what you're thinking is your thoughts. So Sammy, I can't feed you a thought. I can't tell you say okay, again, I want to point this out right now. Because I think in direct sales, we get this training so much it says, okay, just have this thought. Go ahead, just stick it in your brain, you can do this. You got it. You are capable. And even though you don't believe you're capable, you're writing it down, like, Okay, I mean, I know I'm capable, but I don't you know, but in your subconscious thoughts, your intentional thoughts at this point are saying, I know she's saying it, but there's no way I'm going to do it. Right? We have that we get I think that goes across industry.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern]  Like we kind of get you get thrown into your position you get thrown into, here's the goals, here's what we're going to do, you can do this, but not and then we tend to get in our own head around. And it's like, so for me, one of my big things is whenever I got called into my boss's office, it was always like, I was in trouble. Like, immediately, always, every time when a client calls me and says, or text me or emails me and says, Hey, can we get on a call? My immediate reaction is always they're upset with me about something when I do my let me back. I'm in trouble. Yeah, exactly. And nine times out of 10. It is not that like that all but like, that's kind of like what we we tell ourselves these things. And so I think I'm, I'm interested to ask you like when we have these beliefs that bubble up for us? How do we kind of get out of our own head and just kind of be present so that we can let what's happening around us happen and have more effective communication, as kind of opposed to showing up with an assumption that a conversation or somebody is gonna say no, and that's not a bad thing? Or somebody's gonna yell at us. But they're not like, how do we kind of get out of our own heads before we enter into those types of conversations so we can be more successful?

[Michelle Duarte] Now. You say, get out of your head, everything's in your hands. So you can't get out of it. That's one thing, right? I understand that, that that that statement, right? It's kind of like a phrase that we say, and I get that. But you are in your head. And there's a reason why that's coming out. There's a deeper reason. So you're saying, Oh, my God, I'm in trouble. But why? Why do you think that? Right? So we think automatically, oh, I just need to get rid of that thought. And then bring in the new one. And that's me. I am a positive person. Everybody that I meet will tell you positive and I will just show bad. Get away, go away. I won't get those. I get into my brain and I go, No, no, no, no, that's not going to stay there. Get out. I want to be positive. We think that's an I've learned, you know, that's a great thing. You're a positive person. You never let anything but that's not the thing. That's rid of that intentional thought you have to face that thought. So, you know, I'm not going to turn this back on you Sammy. becomes a question. Well, Sami, why did you think that? So that's what I would do as a coach is go okay, let's put it down. Your thought is that I'm in trouble. I get the circumstances is that I'm getting calls from the client or the boss. The thought is, I'm in trouble. Right? That's your medic. How does that make you feel? It makes you feel? Stressed? Just stress. Yeah. Can you start spinning, you get nothing done, because all you're thinking about is what email did I send them last? And what work did I do before? And let me see last project I did what happened and you're doing all the work to prove your story, right? So you're, which means that your actions are doing all this, you're feeling anxious, and the result is getting nowhere, and you're not being productive. And the question is, do you want to be that person? Is that up that you want? Yeah, no, no, it's not. So the question then becomes why? Well, why let's sit about it for a second. Do you have to stop? And think about that? So first of all, why am I thinking this? Is it because I feel unconfident about my work? Is it because I remember, maybe even you could even say, Oh, I remember specific thing that didn't go well. And that's probably what they're calling me about. And why do I feel you know, you're doing your job, right? And you're doing your job? Well, and your boss hasn't fired? You? Right? You're not? Right. Why do we go to that bad place? So we would digest that a little bit, but for somebody as an individual to just sit down and go, Okay, this isn't serving me stop and say, Is this thought serving me? How do I feel? Is this the feeling that I want? No, I don't want this feeling I want. I want a feeling of like, power and competence and right. So let me think about this. Did I do this? No. You know what, this is not a problem. You know, I like that. That feels good. To me. This is not a problem. That's fine. Great. When do you want to talk? Okay, great. This is not a problem. Now. I feel powerful. Now I feel ready to talk to somebody now I feel confident. Now I'm just putting it into a sign and I'm getting my work done. And I'm having a productive day. You get it? You haven't seen that thought. And a lot of people are not going to go right there like mind you. Of course, I'm going to say exactly that. Right? Because I'm giving you the thought. But you have a different thoughts. So even when I said that, because it's kind of your circumstance, when I said, this is not a problem. Did you feel different? Did you feel like ah, that is so true. This isn't a problem? Yeah. And

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] I think for me, it's mostly like, like what you said, like the spiral that happens. There is no like that spiral is not there. So it's like, also remind you just reminding myself like, and not only that, but like whatever comes I can tackle it. Yeah, exactly. Like, I think that for me is the thing that I tried to flip to is, it's not like it's not going, they may not be happy. And if they're not, that's okay, I can still tackle it.

[Michelle Duarte] Exactly, exactly. And just remember, when you say flip, we don't want to flip out of a thought we want to write Yeah, because the normal thing is to flip out of it. But that doesn't mean that that thought then is going to keep coming up, it's going to come back to you. Until you really deal with that thought as to why it's happening, then it's always going to be it's so it's like it's like tweaking your brain. This thought is over here, right? It's ready to jump out when ready is saying, Say panic, anxious. We got a problem. Okay. So when you flip it, it's almost like, I just gave it a little tick, and it moved to his side. But when you deal with it, that intentional thought then goes way back in the brain, and slowly but surely, through time, it's no longer going to pop out at you. The other that's the practice piece, right? Yes, that's the practice. So usually with with when I'm in a session with somebody, I'll tell them, Okay, let's talk about this. We find that thought that fits them because I can tell you thoughts all day. And you can sit there and go Yeah, but not really. Yeah, I don't feel it, you've got to feel it, you've got to know what your brain is saying. So this one resonated with you a little bit without getting into really getting into it resonated with you, you could feel it in your body, you can feel it in your bones at being at a conference and listen to a speaker. And they say something and all of a sudden they're and you're like that is so in your whole body just goes. I am not alone. She is on point. That's exactly how I felt, right? That's the feeling that you want. You want to feel it that is why feelings is in this right. This model is about thoughts and feelings, your thoughts, you how I feel. Okay. And so

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] yeah, when we're working through like our day to day stuff, and we find these trigger moments. And we're, you know, getting distracted or we're not able to work or we're not being present with our kids or whatever is a good place to start to just like when you have that thought just write it down so that it's there somewhere and then you can process and deal with it later. Like how do we kind of just get started with even recognizing what our belief or limiting beliefs and our negative self talk is?

[Michelle Duarte] It is, I would say it's journaling. So in this case, If you're busy with the kids, as I understand is that you might just have to write it down simply, sometimes, nowadays. Now whenever I feel something like that, like I feel it's funny now to at that point is I know what my I want my emotions to be. So when I don't feel those emotions, it's very predominant to me. It's like, oh my god, I'm feeling anxious. Why am I feeling anxious? What just ran through my head? So I mentally keep it? If I can't write it down, right then in there, I will mentally go, What am I, I think about it a little bit, right? I stopped what I'm doing, and just try to think about it. But if I can write it down, I'll write it down so that I can go later after the kids are in bed and like journal that not like read that thought and go, Why am I feeling this way? You know, what is really it, just let my brain go down on paper, we can, as you write, no matter what you write, you're just going to write and write and all of a sudden, you're gonna go, oh, because your feelings go with your thoughts. Okay. And that's something I don't think a lot of people realize we don't take time to really feel what we're thinking, right? We're just so busy going and going. And then when we do get a moment, we're just kind of like, I'm just, I don't feel right. I feel anxious, I feel this. And you don't know what it is.

So, yes, I'd say that when it comes down to it, and you feel this thought, this thought comes in and you're feeling a certain way, make a note of it. If you can't address it at that time, then make a note of it. And, you know, we you will learn, you know, it's hard because when I started learning this, I had a coach, you know, she taught me this. So I can't say it's something you can do on your own. Because right, your brain is only one way. So until somebody teaches you how to do it on a daily basis, or weekly basis is what I do, then you're not going to be able to, you're always your brain is going to want to always go back just like anything else, right? We always want to go back to old habits, work to change our habits. So imagine that in your thoughts. It takes practice. But the outcome is so great and impactful in your life, when you start doing it, that you're never going to want to go back. And all I want to do is keep making these bad thoughts come out of my head, so I can address it like I am now it's not I need to address it like this is it man, I'm getting there, you know, things are made happening, whether it's personal, it's business, that's the important thing. You know, so if you're like you said, if it's somebody listening right now, and they're either in direct sales, or they're in marketing, or nonprofit, whatever they are, they're in a position. And they're a person with a brain who has thoughts, and they always have to remember that their thoughts are what they have control of, period. So if there's a problem, to the thoughts, and I know, I'm jumping ahead here, but I know that, you know, we were talking about the whole money mindset, in a sense, right? It's like, that is actually something I do enjoy talking about only because it affected me so greatly, you know, it's like, we're afraid to ask people to buy something, or they come to us, and they say, I want to know more, and you go down. And you're so scared to tell them how much it is, you know, you're so scared. But why? Now that answer to the why is going to be different for everybody, right? But just imagine, just imagine for a second and say, what would it be like to not have to worry about that? Would it be like just to straight out? Just tell him? Yeah. And then I'll be great.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] I'll be totally open and vulnerable here and saying that, like what I have noticed in my, my professional life is that my end issue with money is the same as a lot of people in that. I don't ask for what I'm worth, I have a hard time quoting out projects at certain dollar amounts, even though I know that it's totally worth it. All of these things. And so to your point about like, our thoughts are different. Like we you got to get down to your thought like I have the same money mindset issues as a lot of people. But when we get down to the reasons why mine is completely different, I have a very sensitive issue to the fact that I did grow up with a family of success. And so I feel like because my family has had so much success, I shouldn't ask for what I'm worth, even though I'm the one doing the work, right. Like that's the flip around. So I think I think that's critical in what you're saying. And I think the judgments we put on ourselves. And so when you talk about journaling, and I guess I would challenge people to really like be honest, right? Like, do you find that sometimes when people are starting through this process, it takes a bit of time to just even get people to be honest with themselves, even though they know it, for sure, they won't share it?

[Michelle Duarte] Because our intentional thoughts right now or are or what people are putting their heads, you know, it's like all the all the trainings that we're doing, they're saying, you know, you know, just ask and do this and do that. But if you're truly that person who, you know, has that, like you and you're in your instances like, well, we have money, so I hate asking for people for that, right? You have this like thought behind it, mine is more like, maybe I wouldn't pay for that. So why would I expect them to pay for it? You know, or it could just be like, well, you know, they don't need this, they could go and get something else. You know, that's, you know, that's the the thought process behind, you know, is it worth it? You know, and but all of those are just your thoughts? Are they facts? No, they're not. Right. They're not facts. I mean, think about it, and somebody has to think about it to find their thoughts. Sometimes they might have to think about it when you go to, or anybody goes to a store or go somewhere. What's to say something's expensive, right? Right. If you go to a store, and you pay 40 bucks for a pair of shoes, and somebody else goes in and pays, you know, and we'll pay 80 bucks for a pair of shoes, how do you know what's expensive? We don't we don't know what that is. And so it's just a thought. There's nothing you can prove in court here. There's no circumstance here. It is purely a thought. It's always funny, right? When you say that, because you're like, Oh, why you definitely can't prove that in court. So think about that. Right? When you have a thought and say, Yeah, that's just the way it is. You know, it is. That sounds like you got some law going on your head. Is it really true? So you just have to find the thought that works for you. Why is it? Is it possible that they might want this? Is it possible that if I share this with them, no matter what the cost, they're going to be like? Yeah, possible, that they just want to know how much it cost so they can decide for themselves? What's expensive and what's not? Is it possible? Yeah, like it, I will say this, since I have gotten to the other side of the money mindset, I have no qualms telling them, Hey, this is how much it is. These are the things that go with it. I can get a customer to go from $150, whatever, to all of a sudden, $300. Because I just told them, you know, and they said, I want it on, just give it to me.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Yeah. Well, and is it possible that if they say no, they're also not saying that you're a bad person?

[Michelle Duarte] Exactly. Is it possible? Is it possible that today, they decided their budget was going to be a B or C, they saw something sparkly, and then almost did it and decided, nope, you know what, today's not the day for that. But you know what, I want it it's on my list. Right? It's okay. I had a business partner say to me today that she's in the same business that I am, too. And she said, Oh, she bought it and she returned it. She tried it like, and she didn't even try it. She just decided that, oh, I don't need this, I need to return it. And instead of trying to like, talk her out of it. She said, I totally understand I just want you to be happy, whatever, you let me help you get there, you know, and she did it. She helped her return it. And she's a happy customer for you know, like, why are you going to try to convince somebody to do something they don't want to do? Right? Don't worry about that. You know, your thought process should be the thought that you have. Now, your goal. You know, I'll give one more example on money that's gotten me to the place of where I'm at. Okay. So there was one time where we had a big sale, and it was on a product that I think everybody should have like, it's just, I am 50 years old. And let me tell you, it has done miracles for me, right? And so I'm like, everybody needs to know that. So I have been talking, okay, who haven't I told you who live in the day, I didn't think about the end result. I didn't think about how many can I sell? What's the goal? What kind of money am I going to make? What am I going to do? How am I going to do it? My thought was just, you know, I just need to tell people because this is the time they have to get price hasn't been like this, they need to get it, you know, and I had to tell everybody about it. And I was just in I need to inform mode. That was it. By the time it got done. And the sale is over. And people had bought and I had talked to people. I looked back and said, Wow, I did that. Right. I didn't even think about it. It just did it. And it solidified my process steps of making money as easy. It's because my brain was slowly working into different thoughts as to why I was doing certain things and how I was doing things and what my outcome was and how it was making me feel that all of a sudden now I'm like, wow, this is actually easy. You know, why don't we go there?

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] We're coming from a place have joy in relationship building and pure like, I'm sharing something that I'm passionate about, as opposed to I need to hit this number, I need to hit these goals, I need to do XYZ. So it was probably a more genuine way of you putting yourself out there.

[Michelle Duarte] Let me ask you, I'm sure there's a lot of people that are listening right now that can relate when you answer this question. How does it make you feel when you think I got to make that goal? I gotta sell to more to make that goal. How does that make you feel?

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Yeah, your anxiety bubbles up. And it's like, I think, and I think people can feel that almost desperation in your outreach, whether it's text message or voice message, or in person or whatever, I think people can feel that energy from you, when it's like, I need to hit one more in order to hit my goal, or I'm $100 away from my goal, or whatever. Compared to this is just a really cool thing that I'm doing. Yeah. And I just want to share it with you because I'm obsessed.

[Michelle Duarte] Exactly. And to be honest with you, it really goes down to the core of, okay, so if we make more money, where does that leave us? Let's envision ourselves with, you know, I'll go high and say even like, $100,000 more, you hit the goal, you made the trip, you made $100,000, you have this new life, you're envisioning yourself there, what is there that you don't have now, that is gonna make you what is it going to make you happy? When that's when you start taking those steps, and getting to that place to really understand, what are you doing? How are you doing it? How do you level up without getting to all those little spam ease and all those titles that burnout, and burnout and anxiousness and upset and all those things? You know, I'm telling you that it is in the thoughts. And when you when you do it, you're almost going to be like holy cow. I always say it's the secret sauce that nobody knows about. Yeah, they just don't like this many people know. And I got to teach as many people as possible

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern]  We're starting here. Um, I think you've given people a lot of things to think about. So I would love I mean, it sounds like just kind of the starting point is really writing down those thoughts as they come up, working through them and journaling them and sitting I think the biggest takeaway I got got from this was sit with it, don't just flip it. That's definitely something that I think is I'm a problem solver. And so my ultimate reaction to things is always like, just fix it. So I think that's a good reminder for me, too. Yes. Fixing it as sitting in it, not just flipping it, not just Yeah. And then kind of starting there. And reframing your your thoughts. Are there any kind of final words that you'd like to leave with folks, as they kind of start to process what this looks like for them?

[Michelle Duarte] I think the biggest thing is realizing that it's just a thought. Every time you catch yourself trying to tell a story to a girlfriend, or your husband or a friend or your mom or whatever, about why something is happening to you in some kind of anxious, negative way that's making you feel that way, and need to just stop and think to yourself, it's a story I'm making up, isn't it? Right? It's a thought, How do I want to really think about this? That's a clue to say, hey, you know, and I could do that. It's kind of like Sammy, how was my day was good. But yeah, this and I got that. And this happened. And that happened. I'm already telling story. And boom, my head goes, Wait a second, I'm telling a story. Something's going on. Right? Something in my head is happening. And they take that thought, and write it down.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern]  I love that. Well, Michelle, if people want to hear more about you, or connect with you and learn more about your coaching, how do they do that?

[Michelle Duarte] The easiest way and the best way I always say is go to my Instagram account. You can DM me there, you can check me out. That's the best way to get a hold of me. And we can schedule something to just so you know that if you let me know you, you listening to this podcast, you'll get your free session, the first session for free. So just go ahead. And, you know, just let me know you're on Sami's podcast, I'll hook you up for that. But it is @michellecortesduarte with an s. And that's my

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern]  I have that all linked up in the show notes as well. So you can just click the link there and learn more about Michelle, thank you so much for this. This is a great way to kind of wrap up my Thursday afternoon and just maybe sit and take some time for reflection after this.

[Michelle Duarte] Right. You're like your mind's going crazy. For a session, you kind of go crazy. Just write it all down after a session or after a conversation and then revisit it again because you'll be surprised.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] I love it. Yeah, well, that's good. That's a good tip. Thank you so much.

[Michelle Duarte] All right. Thank you.

[Sami Bedell-Mulhern] Huge thank you again to Michelle Duarte, for Joining me on this episode, if you want head on over to the show notes at thefirstclick.net/148. And you can get all the links for Michelle's stuff, connect with her and take her up on her incredible offer. I'm personally doing coaching with her and loving it. So I'm very excited for you all to check out a little bit more about her. For now, I hope that you'll subscribe wherever you listen and make sure you check out video versions of these episodes at thefirstclick.net/youtube. See you in the next one.